A little patience hun. Divorce Remedy acknowledged that the the book Divorce busting gave people the impression that saving a marriage takes a few weeks. DR is more realistic. Some people have to DB for months, sometimes years.
Time is on your side. Right now he's in the "crazed" first stage of a new romance. It may wear off.
Waiting and hoping for him to end the affair will kill you. A watched pot never boils. It may take 6-18 mos for the affair to end. It may take 2 years.
Here are the statistics:
1. Most affairs end.
2. Most marriages that result from an affair end.
So...statistics are on your side.
You husband,however, may be in the minority and will ride off into the sunset with the OW. That may happen. How will you respond if that happens? Be crushed and destroyed, or rebound better than ever?
Right now your husband has no moral compass. Don't expect a sermon to make any dent in his armor.
You can't argue or guilt him into staying with you.
Here's how you increase your odds of succeeding:
1. Right now, don't initiate relationship talks.
2. Don't try to persuade him to stay in the marriage. Don't try to reason with him.
3. Don't persue him emotionally or physically. Don't follow him around the house. Give him space.
4. Having said that it's OK to set boundaries. No talking to OW, texting or emailing in front of you.
5. Get a Life. This a way to slowly restore your sanity. Start excercizing it will help reduce stress, make you feel better and make you look better. Take up some hobbies that consume your attention and help you focus (painting, sclupting, rock-climbing, martial arts). You want to enjoy things again. You want to increase your personal power and happiness.
6. Find a support group. They don't need to know about the affair. But you need people who are there for you. Friends, etc.
7. Find one or two friends you can trust, and have them as your confidents. Make sure they will support your decision to work on the marriage. Many well-meaning friends will tell your to seek a divorce. Be careful.
8. I think the key here is idea of eliminating the idea that you need your husband to be happy. What's causing him to run is the belief on both your parts that he is necessary for your happiness.
