1st post- he left- came back- & just left again

[trytoohard]

Just let your H be, then you can decide if he "be"comes someone you would even want to be with.

Why does your H need a drug? What is he trying to medicate?

Your H's juvenille interpretation of relationships shows that he is looking for the "sparks and fireworks of romance". Most marriages loose the sparks and fireworks at times and it is real work to keep them lit. Your h is one of the multitudes that thinks if they aren't there, it means the R is over. Sad for him because ALL of his relationships will die as soon as the sparks fade, until he realizes it is his responsibility to keep the fire going.

Only you know when you have had enough. The difference in our sitch is that my H was sober and working to improve himself throughout this process. Granted it was initially to impress ow and do as she told him to do but I now benefit from the work!

The ONLY reason I stood was because H was now doing most of the things I had hoped and prayed for for years. Stopped drinking, improved his appearance by taking pride in it, cut is hair, started shaving every day, wearing cologne, trying new things etc. Here was the man I had stayed faithful to now doing all the things that would have made our life so much better but doing it with someone else.

I stood because I saw the regret and pain in his eyes most of the time. H really reacted to my GAL. He became terrified that I was moving on and going to find someone "better than him". When I set up boundries, remained pleasant and calm yet true to myself, he started working him way back.

Gotta go to work...arrgghh!