You said in an earlier post that communication between yourself and W had been poor for a while.
You talked to FIL about some things when you were with him.
IL's send email about counselling to you and W.
W upset you have a C on the phone.
You know, I can sort of see why your W would be upset and take what was probably just a cheap shot about an OW at you. You talked to her relations about the situation and she KNOWS that because they, in trying to be fair and above board, email you both, and then WITHOUT DISCUSSING it she finds a C on the phone to you when she didn't expect it and doesn't know who they are.
Your W presumably doesn't know exactly what was discussed with the IL's and that you are just trying to keep them informed but not bias them. She probably feels you are invading her support network and starting to do things behind her back.
Several people on these boards have commented on the LACK of communication between you and your W and that effective communication is very important. Perhaps at the moment your children would benefit more from you and your W spending money on how to communicate effectively rather than on therapists for them. Seems to me you will be paying someone to clear up the mess created by your W's and your lack of communication skills, but at the same time are not learning how to stop creating more mess. I know the children will in all probability need some help coping with this but isn't it better to try and PREVENT future damage or at least try to limit it, (by working on your W and yourself with someone), rather than wait for it to happen and then clear it up?
I say this not as a criticism but just as an observation. Nobody is a mind reader and effective communication is critical in minimising damge - even if it is communication that leads to D. The better the communication the easier it will be for ALL concerned.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
