CL, It's almost like your W is getting herself worked up into a tissy - ranting and complaining. And you are just there... being stable, strong, non-reactive, yet you will not tolerate being spoken to a certain way. In some ways (I know how you love the child analogies that I make) it's like a parent watching their child have a tantrum. You just step over the child crying on the floor and say, "This behavior is unacceptable and I'm not going to stand here and listen to it".
In other words, by not reacting to the fit of rage, you are not feeding it. So that leaves your W to look inward at why she's throwing the fit. She can't blame you.
You are her rock. That much seems clear. Stay the course and continue to be strong. You have a lot of great insights and great patience. Your W is lucky to have you, and I'm sure she knows that.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
