Hi monkeybug - my H also dropped bomb out of nowhere and rev affair - its with coworker - my sit has gone extremely fast - he rev this in Aug, left and filed immed for div - now we are in proc of going through ct getting legally sep. But in Sept a sprint cell phone came in mail and there it was a mysterious 3rd cell phone - he got her her own cell phone on our family plan - I was in a trio with her. I compared my husbands number with hers and they were calling each other like 20 times a day and texting each other through the roof. Then I looked at calls between us and maybe there was once a day. I said the same thing to him - what were you talking about - if you would put that much effort into talking to me this never would have happened. He never once communicated to me he was unhappy. The last 2 yrs we were not spending time as a couple at all and little sex and I went up to him on several occasions and said joking around "whats going on - we live like roommates" only to be told oh its just work and our 6 yr old is always around - it will change soon. So, after I got that cell phone bill I was so angry at the depth of the betrayal to actually get her her own cell phone that we were paying for - I called her and she answered and I told her who I was and she hung up on me. I left two voice mails - "do you know what you have done - how could a woman do this to another woman" " we have a 6 yr old child - I hear you have a child (shes divorced) how would you like it if someone did this to you" - no response. But then H left me message with a laughing tone "you called her" So my conclusion they thought it was funny. THey are so wrapped up in their own needs and have justified everything they do that she does not care what shes doing. And H probably loved the attention - oh two women are fighting over me - or whatever. I do regret calling - I felt like a fool and now feel like I never should have given her the satisfaction that I even thought she was significant enough to call. I found this site I think too late for my M. I had already begged, pleaded, raged and also threatened to drag OW into court just to prove adulatery and enbarrass them both. It got me no where. By the time I dicovered this site he had already moved out and now we have no contact except for email about visitation. I am going completely dark and working on myself trying to cope and just hoping for a miracle. When do you give up? I dont know - I guess when you have had enough - you will know it. You wont feel the need to try. In my case everything happend so fast and I did everything wrong and when I found this site and realized there were things I could do - it was too late - he was already moved out and wanted no contact with me whatsoever and here we are. If I email him at all anything but visitation he does not respond. So I am doing what you might call the LRT and going dark and GAL. Im working on myself and letting go and just seeing what happens. Your situation is very early still - it has not been a month - right? I think there is still alot you can do if you read michelles books - its just deciding if you want to?
