Okay, so my M is over. My W is now the same personality as her mother, all venom and vinegar.
W's uncle was laid to rest this past weekend. MIL stayed with the aunt to help with grieving. I sent flowers to the aunt. W asked me (in an agitated, accusatory tone) why I had sent flowers addressed to her uncle's name. I said because the online florist had asked for the name of the "deceased", not the name of the surviving spouse. W made out to be a stupid act on my part.
W sent me an email this morning. She gave me an ultimatum -- either get my own Separation Agreement (SA) ready to give to her before the end of this month, or we will have to go with her version of the SA. (Yeah, sure, like that's ever going to happen.)
I got home this evening and found that MIL had returned from her trip, and had promptly wrote me a nasty email. It basically told me to not be sending gifts to her side of the family. She objected to the Christmas/Wedding gift I sent to my nephew and his new bride (some books of wisdom to help their fledgling marriage, such as Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages). MIL said that they were not my blood family. Well, that's funny -- that nephew is no blood relation to MIL either!
MIL went further to accuse me of trying to upset her sister, W's aunt, by sending flowers addressed to the deceased uncle. Again they always assume the worst.
MIL accused me of falsely following God. Said that one does not have to go to church to find God -- and whole bunch of excuses for why I am supposedly not a real Christian even though the fruits of her life bear no indication that she is anything but secular in her beliefs. She preaches to me about how I am holier than thou. And then she said that I was not a good Christian if I was poisoning children's lives and minds with "adult" problems.
She then told me to open my eyes and see the truth, "Not YOUR truth but THE truth." Her "truth" is that M is meant to be a "communicating partnership", but if it stops being this and is detrimental to the children (implying that is what I am doing) it is best to separate "and save the children from the angry words. actions and hate."
I was flabbergasted to read this diatribe. The sheer acrimony and belligerence of her tone. I forwarded this email to W without comment, to see what W would say to her mother's vitriolic tirade.
Well, as you can guess, I got a response, and it was very short but even more heart-breakingly astonishing:
"Amen-so be it"
So, my W agrees with MIL on these insane, hostile views of me and my actions. I guess there can be no mistake in this -- in their minds, this is all-out warfare.
Un-freaking-believable! What hypocrisy! I can do nothing right. Nothing I say or do will W or her bitter relations see as anything but wrong. Well, that's their problem! I refuse to let their unending displeasure with me and their unyielding hatred of life deter me from doing what I feel is the right thing to do.
(And I will still pray for their meager little, petty souls. Maybe some miracle by some chance might rekindle the ashes of their hearts. But don't expect me to hold my breath.)
