In Support of Strong Puppy

[Corri]

And in support of this guy... I think he is quite honorable, and I think my friend is being really, really stupid. And I have told her as much. But, regardless of the state of their R... and no matter how much I like him... it ain't happening with me. With him. It isn't there.

I like Harmonic Oscillators... he's into... tricked out trucks. That isn't bad. It's just honest.

[SouthernGirl]

You can hang with Sharon Stone and Angelina Jolie.

So I am doomed.

No. Not at all. He thinks you're hot and all the pseudoanimal lingo was designed to say that none of the guys would be man enough to handle you but of course he would, were he on the market and not your friend's bf. And he knows you better than you do yourself. (*snicker*) It's BS. And self-gratuitous BS at that.

There's nothing wrong with you Corri. You occasionally live too much inside your head and sometimes blow unexpectely for reasons I don't get but you're smart, energetic and funny. LT or short term there'll be plenty of guys looking for just that.

[MJontheMend]

A woman's mind get's brain soaked way before a man's.

So what you are saying is that a woman who says she doesn't want a LTR is inherently dishonest, or at least delusional, because she will want one once she gets involved with a man? That's pretty much the premise of "Be Honest, You're Not All That Into Him Either." 'cause you think you can handle sex but sex handles you instead. This is one of those things that is true but not true. I think, on some level, you can manage sexual relationship "brain soak" in the same way you might manage drinking too much. When I was in the depths of infatuation with NG, I found myself playing a CD he burned for me over and over again. Some sane part of me that has learned a thing or two told me to stop that behavior. So I stopped the behavior and stopping the behavior broke the infatuation. Same basic thing I did when I enacted my "don't hug people who don't hug you back" embargo during my SSM. By monitoring my own behavior, I can keep my own attachment at a level appropriate for the relationship with the goal in mind of being in the best relationship possible for me. I hope that made some kind of sense. -lol

[MJontheMend]

So I am doomed.

Only if you want to be you dark, yet silly Type 5. You don't have to vibe lioness if you don't want to. Do what I do. The next time you go out with a guy scan him first for the things that might turn you on. IOW, look for the hidden wolf. Remember Teddy? The man made felt for a hobby and I got him to render me half naked on a city street because I ignored the felt and concentrated on the facts that were more sexy.

[Burgbud]

(Corri) Oh PUHLEEZE. Women are inherently dishonest. Duh.

Heh. Not so much.


(Mojo) So what you are saying is that a woman who says she doesn't want a LTR is inherently dishonest, or at least delusional, because she will want one once she gets involved with a man?

Much closer. Let's say the guy is a relationship-type guy. Perhaps he vibes that way whether he wants to or not, I don't know. But he knows he's not currently in a position to be in a relationship, so that's what he tells girl. Girl says she's not interested in or not in a place to be in a relationship. So far, so good. Guy brings the strong St. Bernard, strong wolf and extra large monkey. Let's say he even brings some puppy of varying strengths, because that's what life brings him and he was a little ignorant. Yet he's not placating, doesn't ask girl how many guys she's been with, doesn't follow up when girl leaves mysterious bread crumbs out for him to follow ("Saturday? There's no way I'll be back in time on Saturday."), etc.

While SSM forum women wouldn't bat an eye at the above, it's apparently relationship catnip for normal women who were previously uninterested in relationships.


(Corri) I suspect... given my... uhm... mood... if I crooked a finger in your direction in the gym... it wouldn't really matter about looks or sweat... or trust... you'd vibe me... lioness, with a very cute monkey on her back that wants to play with the soap and the conditioner... and you wouldn't so mind my bunny/librarian who'd insist on a rubber... as long as I got it on you in some playful monkey manner... and then my lioness could have at you, with your blessing.

Well, you were in that mood...did you crook your finger in anybody's direction? I suspect the woman you describe, assuming she doesn't have a frighteningly dysfunctional bunny, is much like the "male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian" described by the genius of Kevin Smith via Jason Lee's character in Chasing Amy. (video clip is PG-13 for Strong Language) Of course that character turned out to be a) wrong, and b) bi-curious, so I point that clip out for entertainment purposes only.

If I'm mistaken in my analogy, I'm either the wrong guy or I've been going to the wrong gyms.

[Burgbud]

Let's say the guy is a relationship-type guy.

That led to a pretty lame story. It would have been better to have simply said my trust concerns with women who don't want to be in relationships don't have anything to do with dishonesty, just with where my head's at right now. I don't believe all women are any particular way; it's that I don't trust my powers of discernment more than anything else. Dealing with the cleanup when I'm wrong isn't worth the benefit of what came before...so the cleanup is probably where I'll have to deal with my next round of SLBs.

[Corri]

By monitoring my own behavior, I can keep my own attachment at a level appropriate for the relationship with the goal in mind of being in the best relationship possible for me. I hope that made some kind of sense.

Oh, well... this I VERY MUCH get. I can't say I won't DO something... but just because I DO, doesn't mean I am THERE forever. Oh, I am so all over that... "honey... just because I get all gush, doesn't mean I'm all gushy... it just means... I'm gushy for a bit. Oh... PLEASE Let Me ENjoy it, and don't [censored] up my fantasy.

That... is merely a crush.

So what you are saying is that a woman who says she doesn't want a LTR is inherently dishonest, or at least delusional, because she will want one once she gets involved with a man?

For many... uh.. hate to say it.. yes.

I can keep my own attachment at a level appropriate for the relationship with the goal in mind of being in the best relationship possible for me.

Well... yes... but sorry, many women are not honest about that. I give you loads of credit if you are.

I suspect the woman you describe, assuming she doesn't have a frighteningly dysfunctional bunny, is much like the "male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian"

Tee hee. Were I letting my bunny out to play with my Monkey only being her chaperone... I can't say that I would be all that worried about what genders' bed in which I'd end up.

Especially at this point in my life.

Based on my friends' responses, here, thank you... you are so very lovely Corri friendly, I appreciate it... but I think I just might go with SG on this one. "I don't get you sometimes, but you're smart, energetic and funny. LT or short term there'll be plenty of guys looking for just that."

And I just need to keep that in mind.

I DO know that I have a bit of wild side to me... and my lioness ( I know now ) can run free, every bit as much as my monkey... or even my bunny... just need to find a guy who can tolerate my zoo... my cow is firmly planted... I have kids... two lovely, beautiful boy/man hockey players, of whom I am so proud... maybe these two years out... three coming up in June... have not been such a waste... I feel the need to go to Tuscany... LOL.

Thanks.

[Corri]

I don't believe all women are any particular way; it's that I don't trust my powers of discernment more than anything else. Dealing with the cleanup when I'm wrong isn't worth the benefit of what came before...so the cleanup is probably where I'll have to deal with my next round of SLBs.

I have serious empathy with this. Believe it or not, there is a male version of this. (nod) And I am in as much... wariness... as you are... just in different gender form.

My empathy to you.

[MJontheMend]

While SSM forum women wouldn't bat an eye at the above, it's apparently relationship catnip for normal women who were previously uninterested in relationships.

If you straight-up told the girl you weren't interested in a LTR (or even if you used some sort of easily translatable male code) then it's her bad no matter what animal stew you brought to the table. However, if you want my opinion on the matter, you're less likely to get yourself into that kind of predicament if you use the monkey to balance the wolf rather than the puppy or the St. Bernard. For instance, don't wave goodbye all misty eyed at the door or ask her to call to tell you she got home safe if you aren't in relationship mode. That kind of stuff confuses us if we have our own oxytocin buzz to deal with - lol. Keep it more jolly like smack her on the *ss as she leaves and say "Stay cute." or something like that but less lame.

P.S. Who are these guys who ask women how many men they've been with? Yikes. I'd be like "Several more than the minutes left in this relationship."

[Corri]

Keep it more jolly like smack her on the *ss as she leaves and say "Stay cute." or something like that but less lame.

You know... I hate to say it... if some guy were honest enough with me to say that, and really do that... he may very well and truly catch my interest. Guys tend to coddle the woman they are with, and tell them sweet little lies... which is cool, because at least I know I am being lied to, and I am smart enough to get it... and it makes parting a bit easier, because at least he is doing the gentlemanly thing for me in trying to ease the blow (as if there is a blow to be eased)...

the guy who would do the thing above, to me, might very well get the Susan Serandon response from me: "Honey, just breathe through your eye lids and throw strikes, k?" In which case, that may lead me to the Keven Costner catcher at the end of the season... which would be very, very cool...