My advice is to validate her feelings of course. I know you are great at that. Validate her feelings that the old pattern wasn't working and if the two of you try to work things out it is clear that changes will have to happen. It sounds like she is starting to rethink the offer to let you stay w/ her while you are in between places. I'm thinking you might want to look harder for other options. I would hate for this to cause a big backslide for you.
