ahhh brilliant advice lwb! Sue, if you want time alone with your H, ask for it.
Do you ask for your H's time or tell him that you need to be there for you much? I'm only asking because (of course!), it reminds me of a prob I used to have with J until I got a clue. I felt rejected and like he didn't "really" love me. Obviously, this was a problem with my self image, but at the time I was looking at our R through those glasses. My LL is PT and his is AoS. So while he did a lot of sweet things like help around the house and with the kids, I really wanted PT and wasn't getting enough. I also remember it being a huge issue that I didn't feel like he needed me. He didn't ask for my time, attention or to ML often. I'd say "do you want me to do XYX, and he'd say "if you want or I don't care". I wanted him to say "yes, I need you to do XYZ or to go here or to spend time with him. After awhile I felt like he didn't really care if I was there or if he was with me at all. This set up so much hurt and bitterness in me because I was relying on others to determine my worth. Wrong, yes and I'm not proud of it. But anyway.. going back to when your H said he didn't think you love him and just wondering. This doesn't make it your problem. It's still on his shoulders, but I wonder how he'd act if you started needing his time and attention and expressed that? I may be way off.. just throwing something out there for thought.
I do remember that I spent a lot of time out with my friends during that time in our R (we were young then!) because I felt like they wanted to be with me more than he did. Was soooo untrue, but that's how I interpreted his actions and silence. I now know that he's just considerate and didn't want to "impose" his needs on me. To this day if I ask him a question and he says "I don't care, or if you want", I sometimes ask him for a straight answer so I know because he thinks those words mean "yes" and to me they say "I don't care, or if you want to because I don't but will if you do." Ya, I'm a little screwy
I'm glad you're going to see your H's dad with him. I hope it gives ya'll a chance to separate from what's going on at home and be together as a family. I'm gonna pray that everyone is busy so that your H can't go out with his friends too much! It sounds like the time you have together as a family is good when you're out, but you don't get enough of it!
