Thanks ladies, I will most likely ask my parents to go to the casino and stay there the whole time (they won't mind- they do enjoy a little gambling from time to time) so if I have to leave for reasons of being uncomfortable or anything-I'll be able to. I do trust this friend anyways. He will respect my expectations and try to just make me laugh and get my mind off things. Now that I have talked to you and my friends more about this situation, I feel much more in control & I know I will be able to handle it maturely. Trytohard, how have you been standing for almost 3 years now? I admire you whole-heartedly. Is it because he stopped the divorce himself, that you were able to see the glimmer of hope and keep working at it? I don't know why, but I am just starting to feel really negative these last few days about my H and I ever getting back together. My H just really seems to not want to have anything to do with me or his old life anymore(again). This 2nd time he left me was so different from the first time. The first time he left he was in a rage, TOTAL REPLAY TO THE MAXIMUM, did everything I never thought he ever would all with a smile on his face. Now when he has left this last Dec. he seems to just be so much more sweet about the way he handeled it-it is actually scaring me. It's Like he is just accepting that he knows we are through and says it painful for him too, he looked sad and distant, and we actually had some very mature R talks in the last few days he was here(all ending in H saying my heart is just not in this marriage and I am not attracted to you anymore). This is comlete opposite of last time, I couldn't even find him for weeks and he would just hang up on me, & say I want a Divorce. I don't know if there is another women or if he may be seeing the same bi-sexual stripper from the first time he left (thats my guess). Its killing me that I don't know-there is a certain power to knowing-Ya Know =),but I have read not to snoop for my own good and I do feel it might be a little too painful if I tried finding things out right now. He of course swears up and down (just like the first time he left me) that there is no other women (bla bla bla). I've read enough to know it is probably not the truth. He told me this time that it is all other women that he likes to look at and that he never used to feel that way, and that he thinks that "I should be his drug, and I am not-therefore he wants out". I know this is really long and whiney, sorry. I am just so down and out about my circumstances. I don't know how you have dealt with all this crap in your past, but it is killing me softly. I think about this turning into years of loneliness and despair and torture from watching him go through this crisis. I hope that I can become as strong and mature as you seem right now in dealing with your situation. I am very happy to hear that you and your H are somewhat stating a new friendship together, who knows maybe it will all "CLICK" for you soon.Good luck & thanks!TIPPER
