MLC's come home-part 2

[cagzmom]

I have been reading these post and really soaking in what everyone has been saying --- and today I had a lightbulb moment.

My H knows me. He knows my face, my eyes- he knows how to "read" everything about me (jeez no wonder i got so boring to him!!) ANYWAY--- that must be why it is so very important that we GAL. THEY KNOW WHEN WE ARE FAKING.... interesting.

Been thinking about how different I feel inside. INSIDE. Yes fake it till you make it. You bet - going out when they pick up kids and not looking frumpy anymore. EVER -- my h hasn't seen me in a "downtime" moment in over a year!! AND HE WONT! NOT TO SAY that THAT will bring him home EVER -- but attractive is attractive and dirty hair and sweatpants is NOT attractive.

INSIDE ---and inside shows up outside. Hmmm wonder if it does. Who knows and to be honest if it is really changing I shouldn't care right?

Also- one last funny. I told C monday - "hey i think i am ready to cool it down to like every other week...." He smiled and shook his head no..i said WHAT serious WHY? I am doing so good. He said...you still miss him ... i said yeah..he said no you aren't hearing me you still miss him ..he was smilng. THen he said if it woludn't have been a financial issue i would have like to had been seeing you 2 times a week over the last year... I was like huh? that bad huh? He smiled and said ..yes. =)

Missing for me is DEEPER than you are thinking. It is still to deep inside of me. MISSNIG is too close to not having let him go all the way...it was just funny. AND TODAY?? Yes I knew I was missing him..... thank God for C.