Just_Me - Nope. She has no interest in working on the marriage.
I called her and told her I couldn't meet with her today. Only because I want to be in a stronger and more confident place when I talk to her about the papers and stuff.
...problem is, she didn't get the message. Crap. In fact, I was just writing this post about how I had left the message for her when she knocked on the door.
And when she was at the door, I guess I sort of decided to rip the band-aid off.
I wanted to talk to her about when she's going to get around to filing.
It was a conversation. We didn't really fight, but she's as done as done can be with this marriage.
I also stayed away from accusations, for the large part. I did tell her that I felt she was showing a large lack of respect for me in all of this, by acting single yet not having taken any formal steps towards ending our marriage.
A few highlights:
Quote:
Her: "I'm at a place where I'm ready to move on - and put a profile on match.com, and apparently you were two months ago."
Me: "I set up a profile out of frustration of my wife cheating on my with a friend."
Her: "I didn't cheat. We weren't married."
Me: "Yes, we were. You and I have seem to have rather different views on marriage, though."
And:
Quote:
Her: "I felt the marriage was over in the eyes of God, because my heart had moved on."
Me: "If you want to get into a theologial debate on marriage..."
Her, cutting me off: "I don't want to get into a theological debate."
Judgment Alert!
Talk about a weak-ass argument. From a Christian woman, raised by two ministers, who took a vow before God to make the marriage work "for better or worse" and all that.
I didn't let any anger get the better of me. I said everyting calmly.
As for the paperwork... She basically said: "I'm working on it, but I've got other stuff going on so I'll finish it when I have spare time."
Me: "I'd appreciate if you did that as quickly as possible"
Her: "That's not something I'm willing to do, I'll take care of it when I can."
...So basically what it comes down to is "Yeah, our marriage is over because I said it was, but I'll get to the legal stuff when I feel like it."
Damn, she's frustrating.
I got her keys back. She said she'd want to make a last sweep of the place before we finalized things. I told her we'd "arrange soemthing." Then I asked for the keys back.
She also asked to come in and look for the iPod she was taking - since she couldn't find it at her place. I told her "I'd prefer you didn't."
I agreed to look for it, for her - but I feel I made it clear she was not welcome just to poke around the apartment.
I didn't expect to have that conversation tonight, really, but it's made things even clearer to me that I've been something of a fool to think she respected our marriage, or the entire institution of it, at all.