Just_Me - Nope. She has no interest in working on the marriage.

I called her and told her I couldn't meet with her today. Only because I want to be in a stronger and more confident place when I talk to her about the papers and stuff.

...problem is, she didn't get the message. Crap. In fact, I was just writing this post about how I had left the message for her when she knocked on the door.

And when she was at the door, I guess I sort of decided to rip the band-aid off.

I wanted to talk to her about when she's going to get around to filing.

It was a conversation. We didn't really fight, but she's as done as done can be with this marriage.

I also stayed away from accusations, for the large part. I did tell her that I felt she was showing a large lack of respect for me in all of this, by acting single yet not having taken any formal steps towards ending our marriage.


A few highlights:

Quote:

Her: "I'm at a place where I'm ready to move on - and put a profile on match.com, and apparently you were two months ago."

Me: "I set up a profile out of frustration of my wife cheating on my with a friend."

Her: "I didn't cheat. We weren't married."

Me: "Yes, we were. You and I have seem to have rather different views on marriage, though."


And:

Quote:

Her: "I felt the marriage was over in the eyes of God, because my heart had moved on."

Me: "If you want to get into a theologial debate on marriage..."

Her, cutting me off: "I don't want to get into a theological debate."


Judgment Alert!

Talk about a weak-ass argument. From a Christian woman, raised by two ministers, who took a vow before God to make the marriage work "for better or worse" and all that.


I didn't let any anger get the better of me. I said everyting calmly.

As for the paperwork... She basically said: "I'm working on it, but I've got other stuff going on so I'll finish it when I have spare time."

Me: "I'd appreciate if you did that as quickly as possible"

Her: "That's not something I'm willing to do, I'll take care of it when I can."


...So basically what it comes down to is "Yeah, our marriage is over because I said it was, but I'll get to the legal stuff when I feel like it."

Damn, she's frustrating.

I got her keys back. She said she'd want to make a last sweep of the place before we finalized things. I told her we'd "arrange soemthing." Then I asked for the keys back.

She also asked to come in and look for the iPod she was taking - since she couldn't find it at her place. I told her "I'd prefer you didn't."

I agreed to look for it, for her - but I feel I made it clear she was not welcome just to poke around the apartment.

I didn't expect to have that conversation tonight, really, but it's made things even clearer to me that I've been something of a fool to think she respected our marriage, or the entire institution of it, at all.

Last edited by MinnesotaMan; 01/07/08 11:55 PM.

Me: 26 W: 25
Together: 6yrs
Married: 14 mo.
Bomb: 9/14/07