Thanks Kissak, Trytohard, and Inmyplace, I appreciate all the valuable opinions you all have shared with me in regards to this matter.
Kissak, you said to me in the last post what everyone of my friends and family is telling me-"go and have a good time and that is that".And don't worry I will definetly talk to this man ahead of time about how I feel about saving my marriage. I will also let him know that if he wants to bring someone else that I would understand since I know he is on the prowl.
Inmyplace, I am very understanding why you wrote the redflags down(cuz this man flirts with everybody), but i still feel like it will be a good thing for me to go as long as i talk to my friend ahead of time and let him know that my intentions are strictly to get out and have a good time, and that i am not interested in a relationship with him.
Trytohard, I wil be honest with my friend so that I do not lead him on in anyway.I am also happy that you made me cry in your last post to me, as I truely needed to hear it from an outsider (that my H is/has been a complete rectum). I guess I hear that all the time- and never listen to it- when it comes from people I know. It was an eye opener to me. For the first time I am actually feeling like I don't want or need husband back, due to the extreme amount of pain and torture he has put me through over the last few years. It is amazing, that I also kind of felt like it was almost a relief when he moved out the 2nd time since now I dont have to walk on egg shells and feel like he is constantly going to leave me.I am just so much more detatched from this whole mess this time around, its not to say that I would'n take him back, but I realize that he must make major changes and improvements before I can see it happening. I am shocked & proud of your H for getting sober. How did he ever have it in him to do it. I just don't see my H ever giving it up and that makes me sad. He has come to reley on it. It has changed him from this loving-wonderful-fun person to someone nobody can even recognize/or stand to hang out with anymore. I can't imagine that if it takes three years to heal from the alcoholism-that him and I would ever have a chance. If he quit now (which I know he wont), I cant imagine waiting three years for him to come around & finally start having/showing feelings again. I just feel like my H has seriously gone off the deep end, my case is so extreme, and I often think that he will never come out of this crisis.You must have confused me with someone else when you were referring to your son with developmental challenges, as I do not have any kids yet(no big deal-confusion happens a lot in these posts).
I will definetly keep you all updated in regards to this situation on the black tie affair. I will be talking to my friend next wednesday night about it, and I will fill you in on how it all goes after that. Tipper
