Hi FA - Thankyou so much for your thoughts - sorry it took so long for me to respond. I know you are right I need to say to myself that my M was worth it because I have my D instead of now I have to deal with H as my ex with visitation - I know she is worth it. Its is so encouraging to hear from you guys who are in a different place right now - a place I want to aspire to - My whole life was my H and my D - I know - pathetic - I met him when I was 20 - I dropped out of college - worst mistake of my life - had various "jobs" and then stayed home with my D and now here I am dumped for the OW at 40, no college ed, out of work 6-7 yrs and my whole life the last 7 yrs has been my H and D. Now H is gone and I feel so lost - how do I live without him - I dont mean suicide - I mean how do you live when your whole life has been your family. I am starting a new "job" next week and D will be going into aftercare and I have contemplated possibly going to night school but as a single mom I dont know how that is possible. I am doing a little better each day and know when I start working and getting out of the house I will be much better. I realized that I do really need to find "me". I have always relied on H for everything. We are complete opposites personality wise - he is outgoing and friendly and jokes alot and I am quiet and serious until I get to know you - but in all of our social situations I would stand back in the shadows and just let him do his thing. Now Its me alone now - its frightening in every way - socially, emotionally, financially, and as a mother. I just cant bear the thought I dont have my partner anymore. I hope to get where you are soon - Thanks
