The Great Wall Part II

[Dom R]

I am certain that you are right and H jacks off frequently and that he keeps his sexual edge blunted that way. I want to address it but I don't want to be disapproving Mommy.

Saying "you're not f---ing me enough", doesnt sound like a "mommy" to me

If you're not willing to tackle the "is porn bad?" question... you could try addressing specific standards, and objective facts.

FACT: a man has a limited number of [orgasms / timeperiod].
The limit varies for each man, but every man has an approximate max number per week.

FACT: if he is "using them up" on porn, that means you are missing out on what is owed to you as his wife.

So, you could start out with those facts, which he should not be able to argue against... then say, "i dont care if you use porn... so long as it is less important to you, than YOUR WIFE. you show me that I'm more important to you, by f---ing me (2 times?) a week FIRST. Then all the porn you like, can come later".



Now, personally, I think that you being ok with him using porn, is a huge mistake. But if you're not going to tackle that head-on, then you have at least one alternative, as above.

I adressed it once in a letter to H and just begged him to "close his emotional exits - solo sex, too much tv, too many outside activities etc...." He responded by taking me to dinner.

Apart from the whole "begging" instead of "insisting" problem: Another reason why your letter "failed", was that it was probably too big. Sounds like it was a very long, very wide fielded letter.

Give a man too many things to "work on" at once, and he'll throw up his hands, say it's impossible, and just do whatever he feels like, because to his viewpoint, there's just too much stuff for him to get a handle on.

Telling him instead, short and sweet, "I want to be f--ked by you twice a week. Do whatever it takes to make that happen", and there's no getting around it. No confusion, no "how can I even do that/what does she really want" issues.

If he says, "I cant f--- twice a week, because of X", then your reply is, "well, what are you going to do to get rid of X then?
Or is X more important than your wife?"