Hey Stig - thanks. I can only imagine what it takes for you to read through the female yammerings of what must sound like women who are ready act out at any moment like your ex W. I am a great deal more put together than I sound sometimes. I am also tougher. I get what you're saying and I do concur. I also agree with the connect betwen what you are saying and what Corri is saying.
I don't think that I can cold turkey "talk" with H about all this. I had been thinking the other way around, that I couldn't "cold turkey" touch, flirt or screw H. Then I noticed that in the past two days he's come over once or twice for a peck. Then I recognized that we are almost through the "bad time of year" (the period between Thanksgiving and New Years where H had four deaths/losses of important people). So, I think I need to touch first (more my language even than the yammering) and address stuff as needed.
I have given H lots of descriptors of my hopes and dreams for our life together. He always seems to agree in a "how sweet" kinda way and then fails to do the problem solve part. I think I gotta move him from his cemented position through some stuff that will make him uncomfortable but not put in the corner with a dunce cap. I did get something out of my little rants and the only reason I didn't reduce those rants to name calling and worse is that I DO love that rat b@stard.
I am certain that you are right and H jacks off frequently and that he keeps his sexual edge blunted that way. I want to address it but I don't want to be disapproving Mommy. I think porn is a drain on relationships and think that people don't realize the damage that can be done. It is one thing to share some together and entirely another to have a whole hidden thing going on. I am not against porn per se - there is a place for it but it gets used like a drug and it messes with people. I adressed it once in a letter to H and just begged him to "close his emotional exits - solo sex, too much tv, too many outside activities etc...." He responded by taking me to dinner.
