I guess Stig forgets that just about every HD on the planet thinks they've done everything but throw themselves into the fires of he!! to communicate how unhappy they are with the state of things...
I did? Um, no I've read enough on this site alone to know better than to be ignorant of that constant post-bleeding frustration. I am actually astonished by the number of years OP are willing to live in limbo.
Well the communication over "their being "unhappy with the state of things..." hasn't really been effective to this point, no?
You can speak Venusian to the Martian as the Fs here are bickering about or you can try and translate it into Martian to get through. Imagine a bunch of guys all chatting about what they feel you Fs will react to while you're sitting there knowing how you feel.
Karen wrote:
Why don't I know more details about H's sexual predilections - because he hasn't wanted to share them. I have asked and he has gotten all icky uncomfortable and been unable to say more than, "Yeah, I jack off what of it? It is normal for all men and women."
So why'd you let him off the hook?
Wouldn't say what kind of fantasy material, photos or whatever is involved. Anal - doesn't seem so, said that he had no interest. Frequency? Won't commit due to the issue of "flexibility" which is why he outright refused a schedule.
Well a very simple to adhere to rare sex session is a lot better than no sex isn't it? Again, excuses and off the hook he goes. Come on, that's a lame excuse, "flexibility." Call him on it. Surely sex once a month is waaaaay flexible in the schedule. Again, better than once every 8 months, huh?
"Wouldn't" talk about fantasies? Karen, he obviously knows there's a problem if he actually bought a sex tape and sat with you. I might suggest asking him what a real nice fantasy with you might involve in a fun but persistent way. You keep letting him squirm and run.
Man, he's so uptight about sex you need to start from square one without shouting at him.
His answer to my questioning of his likes/dislikes was to buy a Better Sex video series which we watched once, I got all horny and fcuked him on the couch during the thing and he NEVER ONCE tried anything we saw on there nor did he mention it again.
But did you mention it again? did you try more stuff in there again? The squeaky wheel gets the lube?
Please don't bring up the HDs always feel they've done everything till their blue in the face to me. I get it. Really. It's not working obviously so cross off whatever's ot working from the list.
If you were a guy, Karen, I would say something to the effect of you gotta "sack up." Call him on his BS excuses without being snide or mean.
Maybe even write down a list of everything you want in terms of your SL, go over it with him, and then push it to him and let himm fulfill his male drive as troubleshooter.
This is what I want for our intimacy. I want you to tell me right now in the next hour how we can both solve these issues I'm feeling. I've tried so now it's your turn.
And don't let him off the hook until he gives you a freaking figurative pseudo Power Point presentation that is entirely of his own design and successful resolution.
That he must convince you, the BTDT skeptical client, that staying with him is your best possible choice and you need a lot of convincing to buy the life he is selling for you.
Good luck with whatever you end up doing. [[[Karen]]]
-Stigmata-
The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is the warrior views everything as a challenge; the ordinary man views everything as either a blessing or a curse.
-Yaqui shaman Don Juan-
...and that holds 2x true for nice guy wussies, DJ
