Starting to get it...

[ann25]

Hi Dom...

I thought you just didn't care anymore.... hehe... J/K thanks for checking on me. Hope your vacation went well!

Up-front comment: first off.. GREAT job answering stuff about the OM

Thanks. I wonder sometimes when i'm talking to him. I keep reading all about the 48 hour rule, i wish i had just a couple minutes to think about what i say before i say it.

Ok, this sounds like a major problem between you two.
you cant keep lying to him. sounds like he gets some kind of echo that something is wrong, but he honestly just doesnt know what to do.

I think that you need to tell him that you arent happy, and why.
or, maybe just tell him things that you would like him to do differently.
I might suggest not saying "I'm not happy". But rather, "I'd really like it if you did...."

Remember: most men are problem solvers. They want to DO something, to "fix" things. If you share something that he could do, that will honestly make you happier... it will make HIM happier, too, that he gets to actually do something about things between you two.

It is a major problem. The last thing i want to do is lie to him, so i end up playing silly games of avoidance or rewording stuff. I'll try to think of things i can tell him to actually do, but I just don't know what they are. I'm not happy with where we are at because 1) i'm not in love with/attracted to him (don't know that there is anything i can tell him on that one) 2) because i feel like he expects too much of me (i ask for help and don't get it, not sure how to fix that) 3) because he doesn't seem to do anything to work on our M. There are other little things, but these are the big ones. (ummm, read a book, go to MC with me, go to IC for you... etc. he doesn't like those ideas)

I'm kinda at a loss as to what to tell him i want him to do. I feel really wrong just telling him I'm not happy without being able to tell him something he can do to fix that. Am i happy in general. Yeah, most of the time. I have a great life. I have a good family, my home, a good job - a good life... Just not happy with the state of our M.

PS: the thing about IUD that made you sad... i think it should make you really happy. he trusts you again. that is a huge positive for you.

that's a great point. I didn't even think of that. Thanks.

Sorry to hear you're back with your sex phobia thing when he initiates.
Maybe that's what you should use your IC credits for. See a sex therapist to help you deal with those feelings better.

Thanks dom. I just might. I was actually reading about someone who recently saw a sex therapist and how much it helped her. I was thinking about it. I think i would just tell H that it's counseling. Maybe at some point he'd join me.