The End or just the Beginning? Part 2

[ann25]

Hey atlas.

Sorry to hear OM is back. Doesn't terribly surprise me, but I'm sorry about it just the same.

I think you are doing well. Your W seems like a yo-yo. One minute talking to you and having fun, then family is here, can't talk. One minute she wants to sit with you on the couch, next she's tense. who knows what she'll do next.

Glad to hear that you are going to majorly focus on you for a while. It'll be really good for you!

Sounds like she has just gotten so used to lying, that it is probably automatic. When i was younger (like 10-12) i stole a wallet from a store on a dare. I lied about where i got it. Each lie turned into another and then, eventually, i just kept lying. I'd lie about stuff that didn't even matter, just cause. Once my parents found out and i had to go back to the store and work off the money and a variety of other punishments, i stopped. It's like a cycle though. One lie leads to another. Until she gets to the point where it is just not worth/too hard to keep lying anymore, she'll just keep going.

[Just_Me]

Atlas,

I was going to write sooner, but this stupid site always seems to slow for me to wait.

I wouldn't beat myself up about your response to hearing your son talk about OM. Your wife has said on more than one occasion that she wants a relationship with you. Given the track record of your relationship, you have every right to question her about this. Her response was very suspicious, and I think time pretty much bore it out that she's still seeing this OM. My understanding, from previous posts, was that you were giving her a shot to prove she was actually trustworthy. And she hasn't really proven much. If it were me I'd take a gigantic step away from her....essentially using the rest of my 30 days to focus on my own life and not worry about whether she's capable of being a part of it.

[dh4320]

Atlas,

all om's and ow's are trolls, who gets involved with a married person, a troll.

[Atlas]

Just_me,

That is the plan. I'm not asking her to do anything, calling except when I have to. Pretty much keeping it all business and seeing what happens. The 30 is more for me to figure some things out, not about the R. I have some major other issues going on right now, and just thought it better to resolve those prior to reassessing my M.

I just really don't have time for it right now. Even if she came over tonight and said lets do it, I'd seriously ask to speak after the 30 days, just not in a frame of mind to deal with her on any type of emotional level, and it is helping me to deal with her on an emotional level. Funny how that works.

Thats not to say I'm not watching as evidence above. I am, but I'm not going to hang my hat on anything. I'm just getting my "house" in order, then I'll be able to make some clear decisions.

[Atlas]

Well now she is coming over tonight, wants a movie night. Said I have some things to do first, but probably around 7:30, and she was like cool.

Weird!

[bhopeful]

You never can tell what they'll do next. Nice job on accepting but playing it cool too. Good luck tonight.

[ann25]

You just never know. have a good night, no expectations!

[Gone Dancin']

First,

I'm not asking her to do anything, calling except when I have to. Pretty much keeping it all business and seeing what happens. The 30 is more for me to figure some things out, not about the R. I have some major other issues going on right now, and just thought it better to resolve those prior to reassessing my M.

and

I just really don't have time for it right now. Even if she came over tonight and said lets do it, I'd seriously ask to speak after the 30 days, just not in a frame of mind to deal with her on any type of emotional level, and it is helping me to deal with her on an emotional level.

then a little over an hour later...

Well now she is coming over tonight, wants a movie night. Said I have some things to do first, but probably around 7:30, and she was like cool.

Just wanted to point that out. Good luck and stay focused

GD

[Atlas]

Ok, QUICK URGENT HELP NEEDED!!!!

Maybe I'm sending out the wrong signals.

So I changed up the plans on W, after she changed them up on me, we are now at her place.

So I call to change the time and W says "Well, S will be in bed by then."

Me, "I was coming to see you, is that too late?"

W, "Oh, Oh ah, no, that would be nice, come by then."

She seems to think the only reason I come around or she comes around I guess is for more time with S. She seemed to get excited after I said that. One of my things is to not beat around the bush anymore. Not that I'm going to say, oh baby I want you back or anything. But could all this be that I'm not making my intentions known????

Any help is appreciated.

[bhopeful]

I hope your night was good. Sorry that I didn't get to your post until just now and no one else responded.

In my opinion, honesty is always the best policy. The trick is to be honest about your feelings with pushing or pursuing. I think that approach that you are taking is right on track. Remember, do what works. Be sure to take things slow though...