It's been a year since the D, I need some help

[Jeff223]

I agree with Ron Jon. Stop *needing* her and things may work out for you.

My X wants us to be friends

First try to be friends, nothing more.

I just feel like my X and I SHOULD be together

Every time you say "should" you induce suffering. "Should" is something you cannot control and trying to control what you cannot is suffering.

Adopt a different mindset. Try to make friends with her first and see where it leads.

Sure, she does not want to see you when you are acting like a needy guy. Don't be needy. Move on with your life as Ron Jon suggested.

If you have grown kids should they be kept out of any discussions about you and your X?

Leave the kids out of it. They are hurt enough with the D - don't put them in the middle of your problems.

Luck.