I dont think she's figuring out I'm important by a long shot. She came home today angry...saying that if I wont move out, she will, and will take all the furniture with her, and she's not leaving behind her kids. I was very calm through this crazy discussion. She also wanted me to agree to a parenting plan. I just calmly told her that I dont think she can really take everything with her and I wasnt going to agree to any plan that allowed me less than 50% time with the kids. I just told her I wasnt doing any negotiating on legal stuff without talking to someone first.
If she's threatening to move out, don't fight it and don't challenge her. If she thinks she can take it all, let her. Maybe even offer to help her move when she finds somewhere to go? Make up a really simple plan for the kids (split time as equally as you can get).
My W is crashing and burning since she moved out. She's pretty much financially destitute and never goes anywhere.
If your W wants to play games, why not just drop the rope and let her hang herself with it?
I love my beautiful wife...wish I was in her plans. certainly feeling like we are finished for no good reason.
but...I am not fighting her leaving. I'm fighting me leaving. she wants out..she can go as she pleases.
problem is she is not willing to sacrifice for her choices. she won't move into an apt or condo..has to be same as house we are living in. that is expensive and theres a reason we only had one house. its also complicated as finances need to be split up and I don't think anyone would give her a loan once she files. shes not a great forward thinker and has no clue with money.
one of my recent goals was to have her check up on me, be curious about what I'm doing. well those were not accomplished this weekend. I had a busy few days, but not one question or call about anything.
I feel the same you you do about your wife and about the no good reason. Financially we are both in the same boat. My WAW also has no clue regarding finances. She spends more than she makes. If we continue to do things not for ourselves but for our WAWs to notice, we will not progress. Only because she did not ask you or call, does not mean she did not notice. It is very frustrating I know, to see all this go down for what we consider to be no reason. All the hurt in the family unit and for what? My WAW is selfish right now. maybe they always were but we never noticed.
Came downstairs this morning and W in my office faxing copies of our tax returns to L....nice.
So I went out into kitchen, on her computer was email from L about petition....double nice.
so I asked her...'why are you really doing this?'
Her...'because I'm not happy, I just want to be alone'..
me....'I'm not the source of your unhappiness, I think you will find...I think it has more to do with you being 39'....
her...'what are we going to do or what are you doing for your bday?'
me...'I dont know'
Interesting conversation..... A) her being 39 is on her mind... B) who really wants to be alone? she doesnt...she wants to be w/ om....people dont leave jobs or relationships unless there's something better to go to.
other issue came up....while she was in my office I said I noticed you put your necklace I gave to you for xmas back in my office...in it's box. I am assuming you are rejecting this or returning it? I'm surprised you dont have the guts to let me know, you just slipped it in here?
her..'I just figured you wouldnt really want me to have it anymore'.
me..'why would I give it to you?'
As for my bday...I'm 40 this week. Nice....if I'm served today or tomorrow, I think I'm going to squash any plans from her if she's making any....whats the point?
also...if served...I would still really like to 'serve' OM's wife...I just really want to talk to her. I have read some places where its best to end it asap, and others are advising keep to yourself. I have kept to myself and look whats happening. what do i have to lose?
I have the flu and my bday is tomorrow...the hits just keep on comin.
papers say I need to respond in 20days with a court date of 12-8. she didn't ask for anything in the papers and that it will all be decided later.
one thing in the papers that caught my eye....she has our wrong wedding date on the form. shows you where WAW mind is when they can't even remember the day they were married? how embarrassing for her.
I am in bed with the flu. she came up and brought me a blanket and drugs. weird. I guess this is one of the goals I had..that she would check up on me.
last night she was at my throat that I told her I was cancelling spring break vacation.
I'd like to serve up om's wife today with some info.
Tostada, You have written a few times that you would like to give OM's wife the info. If you think this will help your case do it...I would caution however, that should the other man break up with his wife, he will be wide open to pursue yours. Maybe he just does not have the Bs to tell his wife. Sorry about the papers...sorry about your health. Do what you think is right. You are in control. You are the one that wants to work through this. Keep your chin up.
based upon what I had snooped...(bad I know)...it didnt seem to me that OM was as into her as she into to him...I think he's enjoying her company and likes to talk to her...dont know...but wouldnt mind om W asking a few questions. It may change the dynamics of them quite a bit.
but what do I know...all I know is as long as she is into him, she's not interested in me. So...he needs to disappear.
I'm sorry about everything hitting you. I hope you feel better. I marvel at how close our situations are to each other and wonder if being 39 is a lot harder for our Ws than us.
