I agree wholeheartedly with GD. Do not talk w/ your W about seeing her profile on Match.com or that you don't like the way she's acting single. The fact is you are separated. Her behaviors are her own. The more you try to control her, or correct her, the more she will rebel. That was one of the big things that I realized with my own M.
Over the years I would never let H do the "fix it" stuff on his own. I always "knew better." I wouldn't trust him to take care of it and would insist on calling my Dad (who is really good at that stuff, but I should've let H do it), or I'd ask friends, or I'd look it up on the internet. Basically I listened to everyone else's opinion except his. Not only was it really controlling of me, but it was downright rude and invalidated his opinions and abilities. I have since been working really hard at backing off. Guess what - it's much more relaxing realizing I don't always have to be in control or better yet, I don't always have to be "right."
Telling your W that you don't approve of her behavior is inappropriate. She is an adult. Whether or not you agree with her behaviors is irrelavent. She is free to act as she will. You are most likely not even a factor in her decisions (harsh reality, I know). And, as GD said, you looking around on Match.com and finding her profile is no better behavior than her being out their. As my H likes to say, "Pot, meet kettle."
I would leave it alone. If you are going to still talk with her. Talk about something else. It's a confusing time for you both, tread lightly.
Me: 37 H: 35 M: 6 T: 8 2 cats, 1 dog, 0 kids S: 09/10/07 D started 9/21/07 (I stalled) Piecing: 11/9/07
