Stop 'mothering' your H (he's doing some 'bad' kind of behavior that you have to take him to task for and fix). And don't do the hissy thing, for that's being a 'pouty girl' who wants to get her way. VERY unattractive.
Take your H to bed and fck him good. And they when you are done, say to him, "I'd really like more of this from you... you make me feel like a woman in the very best of ways. I like, really like, feeling like a woman with you, for most of the rest of the day, I'm somebody's mom, or someone's co-worker, or someone's friend, or someone's wife. YOU are the ONLY person with whom I can feel like a woman."
And don't do the hissy thing, for that's being a 'pouty girl' who wants to get her way. VERY unattractive.
Well, just to play devil's advocate here, I think the hissy/pouty thing might actually be effective with many men. I know You find it unattractive because you're a woman and don't see yourself like that, but lots of guys (probably even against there better judgement) do find it attractive. Like BF says, you can't control who you are attracted to, only the behaviors. So my point is, I think Karen being more pouty/hissy will get a good reaction (intrinsically) out of H, but he will still probably fight like he!! for his self-control and go into his cave.
And don't do the hissy thing, for that's being a 'pouty girl' who wants to get her way. VERY unattractive.
I agree that if she did it "pouty" or "hissy" that would be unattractive bunkey. She should do it nonchalant, cute, confident, naughty, nose-thumbing, flirtatious, teasing, fun.....
I'm just offering this advice because in retrospect this is what worked to get me the kind of sex "I" wanted in my relationship as long as I didn't break down to weak bunny in the face of my 2bx's sarcastic attempts to control me with verbal abuse rather than dominant sex. If Karen's H would prefer dominant sex from her like you described than I agree that 1/3 of the time she should do it that way -lol.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I think the hissy/pouty thing can be attractive, in some instances. Most of the time, I see it as a power play that has huge potential to backfire in your face.
So... Karen could hissy/pouty her way through a lovely romp of sex with her H, kwis? I don't think it will get her very far without the sex to buffer it, for a lot of the reasons Stig has listed.
I think Karen has a very strong nurturing side that makes her hissy/pouty come off as angry mother. That's why I think you have to do the hissy/pouty thing in small doses, used wisely, depending on your own sitch.
I know you do. That's why I think you should embrace the bunny and not disdain it. That's no better than some of the men on here trying to kill their puppies. All animals in moderation is probably a smarter way to go.
I know you do. That's why I think you should embrace the bunny and not disdain it. That's no better than some of the men on here trying to kill their puppies. All animals in moderation is probably a smarter way to go.
LFL
That isn't what I meant. I don't see this as a vulnerable situation.
For example, (and this is just the way I'm describing it to make a point, I'm not saying my assessment is correct), I saw you messing with Soldier Guy as a hissy/pout, and it darn near landed you in some very hot water. I think (?) you'd be dealing with a whole different H right now if you had done anything physical with Soldier Guy and then told your H about it.
As it was... you told him how close you were to going out and doing just that (major 2x4 to his head), but hissy/pout was gone. You were just flat out honest and serious. He believed you.
I keep thinking back to Honeypot, and her hissy/pouts not only didn't get her anywhere with her H, it actually made things worse. When she lost her sex drive and gave up, and he finally took her seriously... things changed.
I don't think a hissy/pout will work for Karen. I think she needs to fck him silly, and make sure he understands that she really needs this from him... and when he lets the rope drop again... she can calmly say to him...
Karen: "H, I need $250."
Mr. Karen: "Why?"
Karen: (Pulling out Alternative Magazine)... "I want to order the male escort on pg. 25 to fck me silly. I figure if I tell you about him, and you give me the money for him, then you'll know that this isn't about our marriage vows or my love for you. You will truly understand how much I need a man to fck me silly so I can feel like a woman. You don't want the job... the least you can do is help me hire a replacement."
I know... WAY out there... but... coming at him in any other way than a WOMAN isn't likely going to inspire a MAN reaction from him.
So again... Karen could hissy/pouty her way through a lovely romp of sex with her H, but I don't think it will get her very far without the sex to buffer it.
I think Karen has a very strong nurturing side that makes her hissy/pouty come off as angry mother. That's why I think you have to do the hissy/pouty thing in small doses, used wisely, depending on your own sitch.
Well, there are several flaws in your post. You try and say how hissy/pouty won't work, then go on to site examples like me and HP. I'm assuming HP is still having a better SL with her H even if she is not here to tell us. So...in those cases, it did work.
In Karen's case, I'm totally confused by your suggestions. How is she going to just "F him silly" with the way things are at the moment? He is not going to go for that. And even worse, was your example about calling a male escort to F her if he won't. Gross. You are still not getting it. The whole sex-love connection. I know you said it was way out there, but it just isn't a good example of getting what she needs. I still vote for all honesty guns blazing.
HP's hissy fits DIDN'T work. Like I said, they just kept making things worse... like I said, if you had carried it all the way through, I don't think you'd be where you are right now...
Karen has said many times that if she were to initiate sex right now, she could get sex. But it would be because she's bringing out the 'mother,' or at the very least, that is what he'd hear... and the sex would be ... 'eh' for both of them.
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And even worse, was your example about calling a male escort to F her if he won't. Gross. You are still not getting it. The whole sex-love connection.
Well... I think I am... but sex/love happens between a man and a woman, and what she and her H are doing with one another right now is anything but that. Her actions are somehow making him feel boyish or One Down...
My shrink always said to me, "you can threaten to kill your H, but you can't threaten to divorce him. It relieves him of his manhood."
Pretty much what you did was bring out the Man in your H because you finally came at him as a Woman, not as a girl...
I'm not saying that to put you down... that's just the way I'm seeing it. Like I said, I could very well be wrong... ask him... see what he says?
HP's hissy fits DIDN'T work. Like I said, they just kept making things worse... like I said, if you had carried it all the way through, I don't think you'd be where you are right now...
Well....you are viewing all that through your lens. I can't speak for HP, but I'm going to go off what my H has directly said to me, which is that it would not have changed the goal: to make the M a happy one for both of us. We have both f-ed up and we accept each other as flawed people. That is love in my book ....with the hot sex thrown in of course.
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Karen has said many times that if she were to initiate sex right now, she could get sex. But it would be because she's bringing out the 'mother,' or at the very least, that is what he'd hear... and the sex would be ... 'eh' for both of them.
I've done plenty of "eh" sex and I completely understand why Karen doesn't want to "just do it" anymore.
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Well... I think I am... but sex/love happens between a man and a woman, and what she and her H are doing with one another right now is anything but that. Her actions are somehow making him feel boyish or One Down...
I can agree here. He is not acting like a man. Probably lots of FOO stuff going on. It's tricky.
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Pretty much what you did was bring out the Man in your H because you finally came at him as a Woman, not as a girl...
Very true. I do see him as a man now, much more so than before. And I'm sure he views me as a very sexual Woman who he is very much in love with at the moment. Lucky us.
