[insert shot of buzz headed John Candy from Stripes yelling: "I'm a lean, mean fighting machine!" here]
Stig, I have admired your banter and confidence with the ladies over the last couple of years. I must say that the John Candy imagery just shattered your persona...
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
Actually I do have a clue but Mojo doesn't want to hear me tell her to take care of her business first. That would be my step one.
Is this a game along the lines of "Clean your room and then Daddy will tell you the answer to the riddle.". Okay, I'll play. What would "taking care of my business" entail? I can assure you that you wouldn't want to see the pictures I might post if I sit around eating rice pudding waiting for my credit rating to improve until I next get laid. Of course, some might suggest that I could adopt a lifestyle in which I didn't eat rice pudding or get laid but ....why?
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
But I do enjoy female tag-teams. So, let's go, ladies. (snapping fingers) go oil youselves up and get your buns in that jello vat or mud ring. Chop-chop. I don't have all day.
I always knew you were a submissive in dominant clothing. Two women pinning you down? You dirty bird.
I can assure you that you wouldn't want to see the pictures I might post if I sit around eating rice pudding waiting for my credit rating to improve until I next get laid.
lol Spoken like a true HD woman. It's a blessing and a curse in many ways.
But I do enjoy female tag-teams. So, let's go, ladies. (snapping fingers) go oil youselves up and get your buns in that jello vat or mud ring. Chop-chop. I don't have all day.
I always knew you were a submissive in dominant clothing. Two women pinning you down? You dirty bird.
LFL
I'm not even touching that image with an extended claw. *sprays Clorox all over LFL's mind. And over Stigmata's mind too, for good measure.*
I personally think that online Matchmaking was created for women, and the Ms show up because they know that's where the Fs are. But they are so out of their normal mode of operation, it seems to me, unless you find one who has really learned how to play the game... wherein they TRY to act puppy/wolf in written word... bommit...
I see my two sons as puppies... because they are young and learning how to grow up and be men. So puppy to me does not equate to vulnerable. For example. My oldest son this weekend started talking to ME about playing football next year. (eyeroll) Inside, I do the typical mother thing: "WHAT!? You want to play WHAT?!" I have no problem with any other male on the planet playing football... rather enjoy watching it... but my son... when he could potentially get hurt?!
I can't say that to him, and I never would. Ever. That WOULD damage him and possibly develop an "I don't want to grow up Puppy" thing in him. So I said... "you need to talk to your father about that, and whatever you two decide, I will go with. I'm sure if you decide to play, you will do very well at it." (<-- Last sentence said with cold snowball in my belly.)
This weekend, my oldest son got into his first 'fight' on the ice. He does not go looking for trouble, but when trouble came to him... there was a proud mama/snowball in the gut, time stood still moment for me, because he did what he had to do to stand up for himself. And when the rest of his team saw him throwing fists... it darn near became a free-for-all, because like I said, my son only does that when he has to... later, the same guy did a dirty check and he slammed down on the ice, and his head hit the ice rather hard... (Now Mama Lion was pissed and ready to throw off gloves and head out onto the ice herself. I didn't).
My point here being... I was fretting for my 'puppy' son (didn't want my warm fuzzy little guy getting hurt), but I watched this... boy/man take care of himself. When the game was over, I went and found my x and asked him if our son was okay from hitting his head... got the curt, 'he's fine,' (implied... DUH)... later, when I got my son home and he was laying on the couch, I got him some asprin, gave him a hug... worried/fussed over him, and let it drop.
Those are not vulnerable moments for my son. The vulnerable moment for him was when he told me he wanted to play football... and the only part about that that was vulnerable was he was afraid I'd say no and he wants to 'honor' his mother. In his mind, I hold the 'power' over his manhood if I say no, or get emotional, or whatever.
When I hold the power over a man's manhood, he's vulnerable (but puppy). Every other instance of a man breaking down in some way, is a man being a Lion with a thorn in his paw (he's hurt/pissed/confused because he doesn't know how to get the nasty thing out of his paw).
A man being vulnerable, to me, is a man who allows me to hold his vulnerability in my hands and not drop it. And quite honestly, the only times I can think of a man being truly vulnerable is when he is laying in a hospital bed and has no control whatsoever over the outcome... or he's just lost his fortune and he's wondering if I'm going to bolt... or, when he truly opens up to me during sex and he wonders if I'm going to use it against him somehow. But I don't see these examples as a man being puppy.
The LAST THING he wants in those instances is a mother, but I think it is easy for a women to be exactly that, because she thinks he wants 'comfort' or 'connection.' And what I think he really needs is the re-affirmation from his MATE that you are not going to take his manhood that you are now standing guard over, temporarily, and stomp on it, or make fun of it, or disdain it or coo/fuss over it...
My son is 'puppy' because I am instructing him on appropriate behaviors and responses (don't pee off the deck, put your napkin in your lap, don't smack your food, elbows off the table, pick up your room), etc. He is young and knows no better. Not until I teach him. I don't want that with another man ever, ever, ever again.
I think a LOT of women attempt to change their men into puppies, and then wonder why their sex drive goes away. I had to learn all that the very hardest way you could learn it... I fcked up an M.
And given all this, that is exactly why every time I get online and read men's profiles in matchmaker.com or whatever... I just shake my head and move on... they ARE acting puppy for they are seeking an 'emotional response' from me... (pick me, pick me!!)... a new owner... ewh. I want a mate.
I agree with most of what you are saying here. Let me tell you that most of the examples of what you see as "puppy" would be IMO (or my zoo) monkey behavior. The monkey isn't vulnerable. The monkey is young, fun, naughty,horny in need of discipline etc. I would call what you describe as "lion with thorn in paw" as a man protecting his puppy with his wolf. The examples you gave of true vulnerability are what I would call puppy behavior. Obviously, real life puppies behave in ways that are both monkey and vulnerable so it's just a matter of perspective. I would also say that the way you are viewing the men's profiles on Match is a matter of perspective. First off, I would point out that you are taking it upon yourself to look at their profiles rather than putting your own profile out there for them to look at. Therefore, you are viewing them as monkeys signaling availability rather than men responding to your signal of availability. By keeping yourself in a position of control rather than vulnerability you are making the same mistake as you made in your marriage, you are causing the men to vibe monkey because you are vibing lioness and thereby making them unattractive. More than half of the population of single people in America participate in online dating so it isn't the case that the sites are just loaded with losers. If what you want is a lion to mate with your lioness, then what you need to do is put out a strong profile that vibes that way and wait for a lion to respond appropriately.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
First off, I would point out that you are taking it upon yourself to look at their profiles rather than putting your own profile out there for them to look at. Therefore, you are viewing them as monkeys signaling availability rather than men responding to your signal of availability. By keeping yourself in a position of control rather than vulnerability you are making the same mistake as you made in your marriage, you are causing the men to vibe monkey because you are vibing lioness and thereby making them unattractive. More than half of the population of single people in America participate in online dating so it isn't the case that the sites are just loaded with losers. If what you want is a lion to mate with your lioness, then what you need to do is put out a strong profile that vibes that way and wait for a lion to respond appropriately.
I think I agree with this. And I'm not out there yet because I don't feel ready. So, if I call them losers, it's just to appease my own sense of 'not readiness.'
As for the puppy thing... I think you are correct in saying it is a matter of perspective. We are largely on the same page, regardless of what we call the critters.
