25 y/o MLC?? HELP- I want to save my marriage!!

[darkestangel]

Sunday nights are the worst. I miss him. It's been 2 1/2 weeks, and although my friends & family have been great, I miss him.

We went for a drive today. We talked for a little bit about OR. H has SOOO much hostility towards me, so much animosity. H is rewriting our history so that I did everything wrong that led to our breakup. H is the one who's cheated on me before, who's continuing his relationship with OW now, and he makes it so that he left because I nagged too much, blahblahblah. I kept my cool and didn't lose my temper.

I told him that we're young (I'm 23, he's 25). We're still growing up, we're not the same people we were a couple years ago, and in a couple years from now, we won't be the same people. I take responsiblity for my part in the downfall of our marriage- we had opposite work schedules and didn't have time for *us*, and I was overhwlmed by all the pressure. In our 3 year marriage, I had 2 pregnancies (I was a surrogate for my friends), and we moved 3 times. I was stressed out.

H didn't want to hear it. H said that he didn't love me, that he'll never come home to me and that I made him miserable.

It's hard- I know I'm supposed to avoid talks about OR, and now I see why! He does respond better when I'm applying DB techniques though, so after my short fall off, I'm back on the wagon!

I am making the effort to forgive him, and have told him so. It's hard though- he walked out on me & our d, he's cheating on me still- yet i'm the only one who wants to save our marriage. maybe I'm just being a chump? My friends & family continue to tell me to accept the fact that he's gone and will never come back.

This is the most stressful, emotionally draining experience of my life.
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