My "better without her"... It's hard, but I do think my needs were being brushed off. I know I didn't meet all of hers, but hell, she dismissed many of my requests as unimportant.
Ex: We were supposed to do this big camping thing, and share a tent with B and A. And then we learned that B's nephew (9) was going to be going to the event, too. I told my W that I didn't really want to share a tent with a little kid, when at the end of the day I would want to relax.
She responded that B and A said he was really mature for his age and such; I said that it was the kid factor, and having to edit everything I said - not that I planned to be foul or anything, but still. This discussion continued, for about 5 or so minutes.
I proposed just setting up our tent. Her: "You're going to have to set it up and take it down yourself, then, because I don't want to deal with that."
Quite honestly, I don't see that as a really big deal either way. I mean, you're only sleeping in the tent -- not that big of a deal, is it? Just doesn't seem like a very good example of her dismissing important needs in your M. Sorry, but I think this example is worthy of reflection.
Quote:
GD - Well, I'm going to be talking to her on Monday (tomorrow) at about 5:30.
I think she's been very tacky in all of this. Acting to my face as a friend, and yet acting "whoo, I'm single!" otherwise.
I'm not sure what you mean here -- are you saying you still plan on discussing this with her? If so, I respect you're decision, but really want to caution against doing so one last time. And if you do bring it up, my guess is that you won't feel any better about things afterwards, and may even regret it.
One last thing -- don't you think that the fact that you were searching profiles on Match will tell W that your actions aren't really any better than hers? Just a thought I had. It will either say that a) you're spying on her or tracking her actions/choices, or b) that you're looking for a date or more yourself. There are other ways, places, websites, etc, to meet people that you have no dating interest in. Match doesn't really fit the "friends only" description, you know, and I'm sure W will think about this.
Take care, and try not to play the blame game or keep score with W -- it won't benefit you in the long run. I understand it's early, but just keep this in mind. When you're healthy enough emotionally to deal with the sitch, you'll need to work on avoiding the above things in order to heal properly, with or without W.
