Be honest with your friend before the event. Tell him that you thought about cancelling but since the RSVP had been made, you didn't want to back out but you need him to understand that there will be no hanky-panky of any kind. Tell him you will treat him like you have always treated him, like a brother.
I didn't mean to make you cry the other day. I ask about the alcoholism because my H has been sober now for almost 3 years, not a drop! We both see the same therapist who is a PhD in neuropsychology and specializes in addictions and PTSD. He has taught me that with repeated alcohol exposure, the frontal lobes of the brain shut down. They still get blood flow, they just don't work. The frontal lobes are where empathy, sympathetic thought and emotions are processed. Your H, just like mine, started drinking at 15...partied throughout teens and early 20's then life began to happen and weekend binges turned into drinking every day after work.
It take 3 years after the last drink for the frontal lobes to heal. My H just now expresses empathy, can articulate his feelings and shows sympathy like I haven't seen since we were kids. He still has the maturity level of a 15 year-old but he is maturing much faster now that his brain is almost healed.
Your H is a pissed off 15-16 year-old boy and will behave as such according to the text books.
You have a son with a developmental challenge just like I do. My son has PDD or pervasive developmental disorder and now that he is 17, he shows very little effects. This is a mild form of autism.
My 15 year-old brained H let me go about the business of dealing with life while he let life push him around then blamed me for it. Just like a teen!
Best of luck, let us hear the update on gutter-boy in a black tie!
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt. M-42, H-42. M-22yrs, together 27yrs, Sep 5yrs. D-22, S-18 I'm a survivor
