In the middle of our custody conversation yesterday H actually said to me, "I left YOU, I didn't leave them [kids]". He does not perceive that he left his family because he doesn't see himself as abandoning his kids. His perception of himself and what he's done is SO distorted.
I agree - He *IS* trying to make some sort of effort with the kids, so at least give him some credit for that. It's not perfect, and it doesn't make everything else justified, but it is better than nothing.
Originally Posted By: JennyF
This is good advice Brit and you're right. I still have "the just gave birth a few months ago" attachment thing going. I feel a real strong motherly instinct to hold them close to me and not let them go.
That all makes sense - My own opinion is that you're clinging to your kids because you're afraid. I know that sounds harsh, but you can't replace your spouse with your kids - It's not fair on them. A lot of my W's problems stem from her Mom pushing so much onto her when she was a kid because her dad worked away so much.
Originally Posted By: JennyF
But it's accepting the reality of that time truly being alone.
