We have been doing really well lately. No fights, arguments or even dirty looks. I have caught him looking at me sometimes, like he is trying to figure me out. I am simply trying to be the woman I was....the one he met and fell in love with. I have so far been fairly successful, lost 30lbs, new interests and revival of some old interests, and because of all this I am feeling a lot more cheerful. Oh..he hasn't ended his EA.
Today, he got a phone call from OW and she is having problems, is depressed, and possibly suicidal. This seemed to distress him less than usual (meaning he did not run off to go and hold her hand) and when he was finished talking to her, he said to me..."... is not doing well, and I don't know how I can help her" God help me....my first thought was "give her a gun" Thank God I didn't actually say it. What kind of horrible person has this whole thing made me? Why would anyone think such a terrible thing? This has bothered me all day. Yes, I am sick and tired of this whole business and want her to go away, its' been three years after all and sometimes I'm tired of all the bull, but I hope that I've not become some kind of sick person full of hate. I don't feel that way. Lately I've been happier than I've been in years. Is this something a normal person would think? I don't want her to kill herself...I just want my H back.
