I have been very diligent with the GAL and acting "as if"
Here is how today went..
I woke up early and let H sleep in.
He has been busy fixing his boat and working...doing everything but looking for a place to move.(After Chrismas holidays H set his own deadline) I haven't said a word I figure he can move out any time and I will take it from there. GAL
I went in his room and cuddled with him. Always with pj's on. Now, he has not asked me to leave when I do this for quite awhile. I don't do it every day, giving him a chance to miss it.
I will give a little background here...very short.
When I got the whole schpeel about ILYBNILWY, and every other classic line, one of the ones he gave me was that he didn't have the fellings for me (he had ED.) I suppose that was my fault..whatever! I stood by him and tried to assure him that he was still desiredable to me. This was before I found out about A...
Anywho...back to this morning....
I started to rub his back and talk a little but mostly I was quiet. He didn't move or even try to stop me. It was nice. We were spooning and HHEEELLLOOOO!!!!
Yahoo!!!!! I still got it!!!
He rolled over on his belly and gave me a big grin
I asked him if he wanted to ML( I know.. maybe too early) and he said no. I didn't get angry or even stop rubbing him and he didn't try to stop me. It was nice.
Stopped after about 10 min and started to ask him what he was doing today and before he could answer I told him that I had a few things to do but that I was making our now tradtional Sunday family dinner. Today I was going to make a seafood gumbo if he was interested.
He procceded to tell me exactually what he was doing and where he was going. He has been doing this now for awhile. He used to before A, and then went secret.
I went to do what I had to and when I came back and was making garlic bread. I went outside to throw some stuff out and he asked me if I was going to go in the hot tub.( he was already in)
MY HEART BE STILL! because up until today, he said you don't need me to ask you come in if you want. I usally did but this time HE ASKED!!!!! I told him I had to get the garlic bread ready and he said "aww dont worry about it."
I was in the house and was grinning from ear to ear while changing into my bathing suit..(with lightening speed ) I did take my time getting out there though. Don't want to seem too anxious.
We were basically just relaxing and I started to talk... bad move... something I said triggered him about some of the guys at work findinjg out about his A. He was starting to get defensive. I gave him a look and I said that "like before I didn' want to talk about it." Then he got his fur up and I just got up out of the hottub and came in the house.
I thougt of you guys and took a few minutes to think to myself... "O.K. E come back with a good recovery..."
Went outside and he had his "face" on I made light and said supper is just about ready and it smells really good, are you hungry? He said yea. Whew....
Dinner was nice and we had a lot of laughs. We talked about what the boys did last night and also about what they used to do when they were small...good memories.
H was laughing to and was actually looking me in the eyes when he was talking!
It's now after dinner and he has complemented me when we were eating, when I was cooking, and made a special trip up stairs , where I am now,to tell me that it was really good!
I'm laying on my bed processing the day and it was good! I'll put this one in my pocket and save it for when the rollarcoaster starts.
E
"Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction"
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