I'm no expert here, but I have a couple other perspectives: One is: have you considered family counseling? I would think that as long as your daughter is so unhappy, you will have a hard time working on anything with your husband. While I agree that a marriage is between the husband and wife and the children are children, I also think that a family in crisis needs work together. Your daughter might be completely in the wrong for her attitude, but can you decide that while wondering what you did wrong, what your husband's issues might be, and all else? You are doing a huge job attempting to blend your family; IMHO, an outside expert who can help facilitate discussion might be a great asset.
Other idea: I am struck by your comments of your husband's use of pot and potential porn interest. A site that has some wonderful information and help for dealing with relationships affected by addictions is Soberrecovery. You might find some guidance that helps connect with the things you are finding in DB; I know that the community on the forums there are as supportive and helpful as this great group of people here.
Anyway, some ideas to consider. I will hold you and your situation in my thoughts and prayers.
