Went to d12's swim meet today. H came. He sat with me. Not many words were spoken. It was as if I wasn't there at times. He did his crossword puzzle and kept to himself.
I know i shouldn't read anything into his behavior but it seems as if he has convinced himself that we will never be together. Like we are seperate and that is how it will be. He is just so distant. There have been no tm's or calls in the middle of the night lately and I feel him pulling away further.
I know I can't fix him but I also don't know if he will ever be "fixed" enough to want to come home. This summer I thought it was possible that he longed for home...now I am not sure.
