Before we separated I wasn't making as much of an effort as I should have. He gave me less than ten days to change and when I didn't do what he wanted he changed his mind. During that nine days, I worked 6 of the days, we had two major storms that I had to shovel snow during, one day was devoted to travel to get my daughter. We saw each other two of the days and had sex both times. I was reading the material, he doesn't want to look at it.
To him, meeting him for sex is important. Getting a job and working is not important. If I don't go to his parents house to have sex, I'm not making an effort. If I refuse to leave my dog alone over night I am not making an effort. If I refuse to leave my daughter home alone over night, I am not making an effort. We talked on the phone every night and there was no hint of a change of heart on his part, nothing until the note.
Before I asked him to leave, he was getting up in the AM, turning the computer on, lighting up. I got ready for work while he played on the Internet. When I got home from work he was still on the INternet and still smoking pot. I could walk in the room and say something ridiculous to him and he wouldn't acknowledge that I said anything. He refused to give my daughter a ride to meet me at work for her counseling appointment in addition to the hour and a half for the appointment. So I spent an extra hour away from work traveling to get her. Each hour away from work is an hour less of vacation time to spend with him.
So because I invited him to my house while my daughter was at work, I'm not making an effort. Those are his words.
