formless utterings...

[Dom R]

mini-trip tomorrow. gonna be AFK for 2-3 days with my family on a ski trip.
hopefully, the cold, will freeze the stupid out of me.

well, apparently not

Anyways; here's an update, for those curious folks who are "following along at home"...


The trip wasnt some perfect thing. No earth-shattering "yes, i've changed my mind!" moments
(not that i expected there to be)
And there were a few dark spots.

Yet, at the same time, there were some nice positives to be appreciated.

As usual, our children enjoyed playing around with both their parents at the same time.
Plus, since our kids were in half-day ski lessons, i got to give her something directly for her own enjoyment, rather than "with the kids": She got to play around on skiis for a bit, which she hasnt done since she was a kid.

I unfortunately put a rather large damper on it, by crashing into her on the first trip down the slopes
But she said that overall, she enjoyed it.

We also got "rained out", and there was a leak in our cabin, so we came back a day early. sigh. but one GOOD thing, was that she agreed to go on another trip relatively soon, to make up for it. That's really nice.

and, there were some other pleasant points of the trip which I'll keep to myself

The ONE maybe-long-term positive for our marriage that came out of all of it, was the fallout of a semi-brief "R talk" that I initiated with a question about her feelings in a specific area.

Among many other things, she brought up one of her biggest complaints about me: that I "always want my way, and always try to control her".
When she gave me a chance to talk, I responded that I thought it was natural for anyone to "want their way", and that what seemed to me to be "controlling", was whether they try to force getting their way or not.
I mentioned that I thought i was doing fairly well in not "forcing" things these days; also, that she has sometimes resorted to "controlling" type actions herself.

She seemed to really absorb what I was saying this time, and actually told me that i had made some good points about control. Also, she said that while I tend to revert "under pressure", generally, I was doing ok in that area. She even agreed that she did it too sometimes.


It was really nice to hear her recognize some of how I treat her now, rather than for her to just complain about how I used to treat her.

So, overall, a good trip I think, even if the weather wasnt so good and I am now looking forward to our next mini-trip