karen, FWIW I did not and have not seen any of your statements as a "hissy fit." If anything, it's possible you are being TOO understanding and TOO tolerant. Your sitch is so much like mine... I'm too ready to understand why bf has problems with sex and cut him some slack. Anyway, that's history for me now, but it's not for you.
I'd like to see a post from you that truly SOUNDS (or reads anyway) like a real, honest-to-goodness, ball-breaking, window-rattling HISSY FIT!
Your statement of your feelings and your understanding of his feelings are very cool and rational. I'd like to hear something really angry and resentful, bitter, hateful, destructive from you. Just as an exercise, mind you.
I really believe that the breakthrough between LFL and her H (which I believe is PERMANENT, LFL) happened because she opened her wound and showed what she was prepared to do-- namely sleep with someone else. I believe this put them back on equal footing, finally evening the "score" in his mind over his moving out way back yonder.
karen, your hypothetical emails to your H read like case notes, not like the emotional overflow of a sexy, deeply loving, wife and mother who is being left to dry on the vine. There's this superiority that comes across, kind of like the superiority that some men exhibit when a woman is crying... sort of a "there, there, get over that emotional nonsense and tell me logically what is bothering you." I see both of you being logical and distant.
Just for the heck of it, blast out a post-- here only-- where you let 'er rip and tell him EXACTLY where he is screwing up (or not screwing), exactly how you feel about it, and since you will NEVER divorce him, how he can expect you to keep throwing it in his face until you are both too old to throw!!
So what if people here tell you to be nicer to him or more understanding... what the heck do any of us know?
