I agree about the language issue. But what his symbolic language says to me is that he made a terrible mistake in choosing [me...]
Wow... I do not get that at all, from what I remember reading what you wrote about your husband.
Do you think you are maybe projecting your own feelings.. that you feel that YOU made a terrible mistake in choosing HIM ?
Quote:
Done that. He just got mad and said, "Oh, so you are saying we are headed for divorce? You don't think I love you?" Nothing change except he entered another shame/denial/hiding phase.
Sigh...
Karen. what happened, was that you threatened him. You threatened him in just about the most hurtful way a wife can threaten her husband. ["I dont want to be with you any more, you're not worth it".] He went into defensive mode. all he "heard" was the threat. That's why he reacted the way he did.
The words you quoted from him, if taken as a reflection of his true feelings (which I believe they are and always have been) completely disprove your worries i quoted at the top.
He loves you. he wants to be with you. he's just being unconcionably selfish with reguards to sex.
-------
Karen, I believe, that you trying to win him over, through your own logic, and pressure, and threats, is a very difficult battle to "win", becuase he believes that he is "in the right". Nothing you have attempted with him so far, changes that in any way.
How about letting things cool off for a day or two... maybe even actively be nice to him for a day or two... and then approaching him with the biblical basis? Telling him... not via threats or aggression, but with humility... that you want from him, what God and the bible promises to you from your husband?
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
