From Rejoice Ministries (Yeah. I'm that desperate):
Q1: I am tired of waiting. What am I to do?
We asked one of local standers and workers, to reply to this question. Here is her reply. May the Holy Spirit make His application to your life as well.
"I assist Rejoice Ministries in replying to prayer requests. I have been standing for my marriage for three years and I attend Rejoice Pompano Bible Study.
"As I read your email I cried and I am still crying as I write you. I pray that the Lord will give me the words for this stander. I cry because we all know your pain.
"I have been a Christian for 3 years and the journey has not been easy. I believe it was my husband leaving me and divorcing me (which I thought I wanted) that lead me to become a Christian. I remember starting to pray and then Rejoice Ministries came into my life.
"I have learned that God loves us and He suffers our pains. He also allows things to happen to us in order to get our attention. He sure got mine and showed me where I failed as a wife. I learned the lesson early on and learned to not look at my husband's faults, but to look at my own. Looking at my own faults has convicted me and has made me shed many tears because first I failed the Lord and then I failed my husband.
"Have you asked God to speak to you? Have you remained quiet enough to hear him speak? Take your eyes off your husband and lay him at the cross every day. Pray for your spouse and the other person ask the Lord to take care of it all.
"This weekend I spent some time with Charlyne and I learned a truth that I was afraid to face or even question myself. Will I follow God whether he brings my husband home or not? I know that I will, because I desire all that he offers.
"As standers we tend to make our marriages our idols and we want things now and fixed quick. If there is only one bit of advice I can give you it is to seek God with all your heart. Learn to be a man or woman after His own heart and bathe in all the wonderful things He gives us daily, such as our health, our home, food and the ability to face another day.
"If you want to give up don't look for approval. Tell it to the Lord. If you believe the Word, you know you cannot get married because He says if you are separated either you reconcile or remain unmarried. You will be no good for your husband or wife if you don't surrender yourself, your family and your marriage to Him.
"Allow God to change you and give you wisdom. He loves your spouse and He cares about everything that is happening to you. Take Charlyne's advice and read scriptures with your husband or wife's name in them.
"The enemy will attack you forever even after you are restored. You need to know how to fight the enemy and know the Word of God. Become a student of the Word and walk in victory. When he attacks your mind tell him to "get away from me, because greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world. No weapon formed against me will every harm me." God says if you commit everything to him he will make your plans succeed. However, remember it is His will not ours.
"Forgive me if I offend you in any manner but you need to hear the truth. Don't listen to anyone around you, but go to God's Word and when you don't understand ask Him to clear it up for you. "You are fighting for your family and for salvation. You are fighting so that these generational curses will not be passed on to your children.
"I pray right now in the name of Jesus that the Lord will speak to you and that you will find peace and clarity to know exactly what He wants you to do.
"Many blessings to you and your family. Remember God knows you by name and knows every hair on your head, not only yours but your beloved spouse too."
Q2: My spouse is still at home, but an alcoholic. I am now a Christian. Would I be better off alone?
We asked a mature stander who has lived where you are right now to reply for us;
"Never give up on God. He can and will heal your marriage. Charlyne has asked if I might feel led to respond to you. I certainly do because I too have a spouse who drinks and who has done it since we were married many years ago. I need to caution you that I really blew it big time when I sent my husband away due to his drinking. I will explain. First of all, yes, Satan had his clutches on my husband with his drinking abuse and he was wrong definitely, but I then followed Satan’s path also, in the way of complaining, grumbling, belittling him due to his inconsiderateness and all that goes with it. I felt I was better than him because I thought I was doing everything right. Was I deceived! Well, through all of that, he fell into the trap of an adulterous woman at one of the bars. When I found this out, I told him to leave and never come back until he stopped drinking because I could not live this way any longer.
"Down deep I really thought he would choose me over the drinking but he did not. Yes, he loved me but he was deep into being deceived by the devil's lies and he said he couldn't and wouldn't give up the drinking because he liked it. That really hurt because I thought his family and me was more important. All this did was throw him deeper into the other woman’s arms. He was gone when God hit me over the head and made me realize that I was also the big sinner. I was not loving my spouse as I should have. I was not having unconditional love.
"Through all of this heartache and devastation I have come so close to God and I am so thankful that He did not let me go any further. My husband is home and I continue to pray daily for his salvation and that we will someday be spiritually connected the way God wants us to be and that we will be able to share our testimony together with others to help them. I know that God will heal our marriage totally because I believe in God's promises.
"The scripture I want you to know that has deeply touched my spirit is; "I write these things to you so that you may know that you have eternal life, you who believe in the name of the Son of God. And we have this confidence in Him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that He hears us in regard to whatever we ask, we know that what we have asked Him for is ours." (I John 13:15). Please read this scripture passage over again and again. I believe God in this promise. Please do not give up. God is with you always. Rejoice in the Lord - always!"
A stander from Minnesota gives a beautiful reply to this challenge, that standers hear often;
"Soon after my husband left me, God turned my heart to Him. Through reading His Word, my hope and faith increased. God began to show me that all things are possible through Him. I started praying for my husband and my marriage. Before I ever heard the terms "stand in the gap" and "stand for your marriage", God was calling me to do just that!
"I truly believed that God was able to heal my marriage. However, the enemy delighted in placing stumbling blocks in my way. They came through things I read or through well-intentioned comments from friends and family. The one most frequently used was, "Your husband has his own free will and even if you pray, he ultimately will choose what he wants to do." How cunning the enemy is! Satan tells us that it doesn't matter what you pray because man can choose what he wants. But God tells us to have faith and believe and to pray without ceasing. What freedom I felt when I finally realized that yes, man does have his free will, but God will stop at nothing to bring it into alignment with His will!
Proverbs 16:9 We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.
Proverbs 19:21 You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail.
Proverbs 20:24 How can we understand the road we travel? It is the Lord who directs our steps.
Jeremiah 10:23 I know, Lord, that a person's life is not his own. No one is able to plan his own course.
"Praise God for His faithfulness. He showed me in His Word that He has many ways of changing the hearts of men and redirecting their paths. Yes, man can choose, but God is sovereign in His perfect plan. If he calls us to pray, then believe that He is the God of the impossible and can change the heart of even the hardest of men.
"Throughout Scripture you will find many examples of God turning the hearts of kings and men to Him to fulfill His purpose. How is this done? Through the work of the Holy Spirit.
Ezekiel 11:19 And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them. I will take away their hearts of stone and give them tender hearts instead, so they will obey my laws and regulations. Then they will truly be my people, and I will be their God.
Jeremiah 24:7 I will give them hearts that will recognize me as the Lord. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me wholeheartedly.
Ezekiel 36:26-27 And I will give you a new heart with new and right desires, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony heart of sin and give you a new obedient heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so you will obey my laws and do whatever I command.
"Whenever the enemy comes against you with lies and tries to convince you that your prayers don't matter because your spouse is choosing to go his/her own way, remember the Word of God. God has called us to stand and pray for our spouse. He is faithful and His Word is true. He is the one who will change their hearts and place His Spirit in them. He will call them to obedience and repentance. Continue to stand and pray because even though man might make his plans, God directs his steps. With God all things are possible!"
