semen in the morning is not the problem: getting her started is!!
here's an sample of this morning: i let her sleep until 8:40; rolled over to her and when i put my arm around her, she quickly told me to move away, because she was all hot and sweaty, and had to go to the bathroom. i could already see where this was going. kids were already up and downstairs (9 and 11 year olds). when she got out of the bathroom and saw that i was still in bed, she came over, sat on her side of the bed (i stayed in the same position she left me in), and said that she was going down to have coffee. i said, "why don't you lock the door and come back into bed?"
"no, i want to get up and going. i already slept later than usual and the kids are up," she said.
"so, that's it? you don't even want to try to get started," i replied.
"no, i am not in the mood. i want to get up and about."
"so, you're not in the mood, and don't want to try, right?"
"yeah, pretty much," she said as she walked out of the bedroom making me feel so alone, frustrated, angry, sad, unloved, uncared for, not being able to acknowledge her selfishness, etc.
downstairs, she acts as if there is nothing wrong, that what occurred 10 mins. before never happened, talking to me as if i never even approached her about sex!
i tell her how annoyed and frustrated i am, and all she said was, "yeah, i know," and went about the morning as if i never said anything!
but she was in the mood to go to the gym when her friend called, not in the mood to have sex with me!!
i could've opened dialog once again at that moment, but i am waiting, because i am in the process of finding a therapist, and don't want to start anything again for the millionth time in my marriage until i have all of the facts straigtened out. in other words, i want to talk to a professional to make sure that it's not me and that i am not asking for so much in my life. i also want to show her that i am not playing games anymore, that i am seeking help to either get myself straightened out ( maybe i want too much sex!), but rather, that she is the one who has the problem, and she needs to address it.
did she not want to have sex because we had it last week on new year's eve, when she wanted to have it because it was already a month that passed when we last had it?
is it because last week's romp meant that she made her quota for the month, and now she doesn't have to do it for another month?
i am just really tired of this nonsense, not being able to treat her like a lover, to always walk around with a long face, like a kid who is pouting over not getting the toy he really wanted, never knowing when sex is going to happpen, never having sex spontaneously even when i try.
