(SM) Bunnies, puppies, it makes no difference. There just metaphors, anyway, for vulnerability.
Language matters, so I suspect that it does make a difference. I agree that they're both metaphors for vulnerability.
You can't kill the puppy. He's always there.
Right. When I asked blackfoot to clarify his "killed the puppy" comment he explained that when a woman played his puppy by making his bed or having breakfast ready for him or whatever, it would trigger what I call "connective emotions". He hired someone to do those things for him because he's not interested in connective emotions and because the puppy rarely (if ever) enhances attraction and often detracts from it. So "killing the puppy" indicates a man dealing with vulnerability on his own and self-soothing.
I disagree. Showing vulnerability is a learned skill. After my W dropped the bomb and I discovered her A, I lived my life wide open on the Infidelity forum for months and months. I did the same in real life when the opportunity presented itself. Once you've learned to handle the anxiety it's not that hard. Nor is it particularly effective.
I still believe in being wide open with the truth. It's just that now my truth is "I'm handling it myself" much more often than before.
By hiding your vulnerability, you are either lying to your partner or yourself.
Don't hide it; handle it. Nobody's suggesting that anyone become inauthentic.
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