Ok at the risk of watering it down here is a re-format:
I love you and we have a problem. We have not had sex in almost a year. About six months ago I made a decision not to pursue you for sex that you don't want to have and see what would happen. What has happened is that you and I have widened our distance even more. I have told you before that I would like to have sex with you no less than once a week, preferably 3 times. You have repeatedly indicated that if I backed off you would step up to the plate and initiate when you were interested. That hasn't happened.
I feel suspicious that there are deeper issues like an emotional or physical or computer affair, pornography addiction, anxiety, emotional sexual issues, depression or something like that. If that is the case, I need you to get honest about it. There are certified sex therapists in our area that I hope you will consider seeing. I can send you a link so you can choose one if you want. I have a bookcase full of material on sex and marriage that I hope you will consider reading and maybe even discussing with me whatever the problem is.
Of course, the blame does not rest solely on you. For my part, I will make myself available to you for sex and affection on a daily basis but I won't participate in half -hearted attempts. I will take responsibility for initiating sexual activity of some sort once/week. You have the right to refuse. I have no intention of leaving this marriage but there is a window of opportunity on my wholehearted effort that will eventually close if I find I am the only one trying. If you allow it to close I cannot say what kind of marriage we will have.
