Well guys - so far all my attempts at "honesty" with H have led nowhere so hitting over the head with a more brutal form doesn't seem as if it will succeed but maybe I'm wrong. Then when I gave an example of what I thought was pretty honest but yet respectful of his space and mine I got the general impression that some thought it was too lite and others too finger pointing. In the end I will do what I want to do and right now ending this stale mate is looking like what I want to do. Whatever happens. Thing is that it is rarely satisfying to end the stale mate because my "honesty" fizzles in the face of H's "but this but that....and can't you understand x happened, then y, and I am still hurting because so and so died." Then I just feel like a heel and settle in for another drought. I know that sounds like "poor me" but it is just kinda how it has gone in the past. So, do I just push past the excuses and say "Not good enough H. Just a smokescreen H" or something like that.

Karen

IC - calling me a lady might be a stretch.

LFL - his participation can only be decided by him. So far all my "plans" for it have come to nothing so I'm not really holding my breath. However, all my inaction is killing me and it will have to end.