New to Piecing -- again

[peaceful_spirit]

Hey RJ,
Thinks are fine, I guess. I just find myself worrying all the time. I am trying to find some peace within myself.

H and I did end up talking the other night. I did ask him if he had spoken to OW recently. He said no, and asked when we're going to get past this. I guess I can't blame him, but he needs to see my point of view either.

He said, "is this ever going to end?". I said, "now you knwo how I felt for so long". He said, "True. Now, think about how angry that made you".

We left it at that. The next morning, I said, "sorry about last night".

I have checked his cell phone a bunch of times over the last day or so. i guess I'm falling off the wagon. I go through these periods where I feel insecure and feel the need for reassurance... either from H or from things like checking his phone. What is wrong with me?

Then I worry that I am driving him away. All I do is worry. I have worked so hard to not have this frame of mind, but it's overcoming me lately.

I am searching for that place of peace within me that I once had. It seems to be missing right now.