Help, it seems my 35 year old wife is in MLC #11

[Punktmann]

MMF, I too like most of the book, but I am not sure about the "ultimatum" part of it as it would apply to my sitch now. I think that in clear cut stereotypical cases it might be what the Dr ordered, (pun intended,) but not necessarily for my sitch, now that I have let things go this long....

What I really liked about the book was the idea of mutual respect, and that a line should be drawn for that. In this vein, I liked the idea of creating an atmosphere of self respect, regardless of the spouse. This is what I failed to do for a long time, letting her issues drive the marriage.

That has been missing from my marriage since the first time that the IDLYA / OM sitch was announced. At this point, I don't know that "drawing a line" would be productive, but I think that if I had read and internalized this book 3 years ago, I could have made a better impact.

I wish that I had read this book 3 years ago.