A personal journey through Karen's eyes

[Burgbud]

(LFL) I think you are being a little naive here Stig.

Gawd, I hope not. He's lived it once. I wouldn't think there's a whole lot of room left for naivete.


This severe approach, when it comes to M, is not realistic.

What do you mean by "realistic"? It seems you mean that it's not realistic if the aim is to save the M. If that's the case, then you're correct by definition but you haven't really said anything. What Stig said, and what I personally subscribe to as well, is that if she cheats once, she's out. Saving the M is no longer the goal.


The fact of the matter is M is F-ing hard.

I'm sure everyone here agrees.


The majority of men and probably women today will go outside their M to meet some physical and emotional needs. They will sometimes even leave you (personal experience there).

If I end up married again and my wife goes outside the M to meet some physical needs, then she stays outside. It's as simple as that. In and of itself, that's realistic.

Going outside to meet emotional needs...it depends. I'd need some examples.


Do you think the LFL's, or the IC's, or whoever else, expected to be living this kind of M?

No more than the Stig's, the blackfoot's, the Corri's and/or the Burgbud's expected to be living their kind of M.


Would we be here today trying to make our M better than ever if we decided "well, that's a dealbreaker, sorry, the M is done."

By definition, no. If there's a cheating spouse in my future, I won't be back here trying to make that M better.


And believe me, I thought like you, as I think most people do when they start a R/M. "I'd never take him back if he left." or "I'd never forgive her if she cheats." But people do and they can come out stronger.

That's what I thought, too. That's not the way I reacted when it actually happened. That will be the way I react if it happens again. People certainly can come out stronger for it but that path to strength holds no further interest for me.


The choice is deal with the problems in your M or drop every R/M that comes into trouble.

I don't think anyone's said they aren't willing to deal with problems and trouble in their M. There are millions of problems and troubles that aren't cheating.


So ultimate dealbreakers? boundaries? I just dunno anymore...

I don't think anyone's saying there's a generally right or a generally wrong way. You should live your M in whatever manner works for you. Ultimate dealbreakers and boundaries may not be your way.