I hear you on this Brit. But I am having a REALLY hard time accepting that I am going to lose this much time with my children when he is the one who started an A a month before he got me pregnant and then left me at 8 months. He was not thinking of the kids best interest when he made all of these decisions...and I believe he is only thinking of his own best interest now. He SHOULD feel that he has less time than with them than me because this is solely his choice.
I think it'll become pretty clear, even with defined custody who is most involved in their kids lives. I'm lucky - My R with W is good, and we're probably going to end up living within a mile of each other eventually.
Originally Posted By: JennyF
The consequenses of his actions include less time and in turn less of a bond with his kids. Why should I have to face losing and not building those relationships with my kids when this is his wrongdoing? Again, I may feel differently if he'd actually given us the chance to work on the R...but he left his family without trying. As I said, then it would feel more mutual. He gave up our family's chance of togetherness on his own.
I agree - It is one thing leaving us; it's something else entirely leaving the family. I wouldn't think of it as you losing time with your kids. You DO need time to yourself, and it's important that you have a life outside of your children. I find my time with D is spent far more effectively when I know I'll have a period of time without her - Not because I don't want her around, but because I need to be able to do things on my own.
Originally Posted By: JennyF
Please don't think I'm coming back at your comments negatively. I appreciate them a lot because it is helping me work through my thoughts. He will bring up these points when we talk tomorrow and I want to feel justified in my responses. Thanks for the input Brit.
As Lizzy said, my own experience of parenting with my WAS is more than likely the exception, rather than the norm. My advice is probably close to worthless
