What STATE did I go to middle school in? Uhmm... well 7th grade... prep school in inner city Cincinnati... then... rural school for 8th grade.
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Sometimes I do. In phases. My pattern has been to have a great realization, make changes, then when the resulting changes are not great enough I fall back into the same ole pattern of wondering what next and stressing on it. And of course lately that's when I post here, when I'm frustrated.
I appreciate your thinking. But... head shake... for me, at least... it was not just doing something new, just for doing something new.... it was a complete mind shift.
When I left my marriage, I was still the same person. Even in a new R... I still faced me. It wasn't the person with whom I was dealing... but me. My mind set. I could tell, if I kept on the same path, no matter who I was with... I'd face the same me, at some point. Chemical phase would get me out of it, for a time, but, if I wanted lasting changes for me... changing me... was the order of the day. So... I changed. It was not easy.
Now. I can change. But I also know... I am me. I can change the physical me much easier than I can change the intellectual me. Intellectual me... is a changing person by nature... but I will not, ever, give up... authenticity. That is... of the emotional realm. Physical me... well... I have much exploring to do... as long as I feel that I have that very sturdy.... someone to hold on to... which is, in and of itself, emotional... than I can find my way.
It is when I get pulled into... delivery. Give me what I want.
Ewh. Share with me. See where it goes. Don't expect. Let me find my legs. If I can't... I can't. Don't rush the line.
BUT. If someone didn't rush the line on me... well... then, I LEARNED... step forward. And I did. I do. I like it. Not because he's waiting on me to give him what he wants... but because he is waiting on me to give what I am willing.
