I just want to make it better. . .

[seekpeaceofmind]

Thanks for stopping by sherrsue and lizzy.

Are you in IC right now? If not I suggest you think about it. It really helped me pull myself together. You have a lot of challenges ahead of you, don't expect to conquer them all in a short time.

I am in IC but I don't think it is helping other than as an outlet to talk about my feelings and get another perspective. I feel like I am not making much progress, but maybe I expect too much of myself. My bf says how strong I am, but I don't feel that way many days. Also, the R issues seem to be in plateau, so there is nothing new to work with. I have been thinking about checking out a support group for separated/divorced, and then maybe I can save my C sessions for either crisis or reconciliation work.

Let me know what you have been doing that gets positive results. I dont know how they get over the anger and resentment and just start fresh--thats what I want to do, along with MC.

I don't think I have actually done anything other than back way off and I honestly can't tell if that is getting results or not. At least it is not getting me fresh rejection! It's not fun to have your H politely decline your invite to give him a meal for his b'day. . . . I may be willing to wait for him to decide but I am not a glutton for punishment.

he wants to keep things light.

I think that is 99% of what is going on with my H. He just doesn't want to deal with conflict or drama. He wants things to be easy and convenient for him. He told our MC that he has to deal with conflict at work and doesn't want any at home. When the MC said that no conflict at home was not realistic, H seemed genuinely surprised to hear that. He has a lot to process to decide if he can put any of his emotional energy into R. Also, have been reading something lately (maybe Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus) that emphasizes how much men hate R talks. Mars/Venus definitely reminded me of the "men go into their caves" concept and I see a lot of that in how my husband is dealing with things. He wants to go off on his own and decide what he is going to do. He wants to solve his problem alone. He is willing to remain a partner with me financially, but there is no sense in his words or actions that we are in this together.