karen & stig, I think it really is hard for men with a "normal" sex drive to even imagine that a guy could be like mr karen or my bf. They think of themselves and, quite correctly, think that if their partner initiated a bj, that would kick things off. Like you, I initiated bj's plenty, and nothing was ever reciprocated. He has virtually never reached for me in a sexual way. I, too, have gotten that look that says, "Are you still after me?" One time we were watching a movie where a married couple spontaneously ML in the back of their car at their house in the country. Bf's comment, "What are they? Sex maniacs?" Fortunately I'm in a position where I can drop the rope.
Like you, karen, I'm convinced that there are dark and troubled things in bf's past that have led him to be this way. But I just can't keep trying to heal him. (I'm sure living with his mom these days is doing a lot to help him get over that stuff. NOT!)
