Craig, just keep practicing with the compliments. I don't know why, but I always felt so fake when I tried to lavish my H as far as showing him that I admired him. I have failed miserably at this all down through the years. I think it must be a mental block or something b/c I had no problem where the OM was concerned.....so why can't I feel free to do the same with my H? I have read that admiration is at the top of the list where men's needs are concerned, so my poor H has not had his needs met very much at all.
Speaking as a woman, I know we can't get enough amiration either, although it may not be quite the same need as where men are concerned. I think it is a matter of building self-esteem and feeling cherished by our H's. This is kind of bad to give this example but I will to let you know the difference in a H telling his W that she looks nice when they are going out compared to what another man would say. My H tells me quite often that I look nice when I dress up for work, etc. But, the OM once told me, "Baby, you are so damn hot!" Now, that turned me on! Do you see the difference? Of course, my H wouldn't use the swear words, but it was just the way OM said it to me that thrilled me and sent my self-esteem up through the roof. Right now you are kind of walking on ice and have to be careful to ease into using sexual overtures like the example I just gave, but I was trying to explain the difference in giving a compliment to your W being different from one you would give your Mother.
If you aren't use to "praising" her, you will probably feel a little strange or fake at first and I wouldn't overdo it or she will see it as not being sincere and that you are despartely trying too hard.....as in clingy. I know this is so difficult b/c we women are very, very complex! It is almost impossible for a man to know what to do in most cases.
My biggest problem in trying to turn my heart back to my H has been that my heart was closed up to him. So, time and lots of patients is the key here. Your faith will help you more than anything else. Miracles can happen, Craig.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
