Thanks Ingrid. You are right, I'm getting closer to that point, and that is probably a good thing, in the long run. It will be one of the harder things I've ever done, but it is getting to be time I stood up for myself. She often says that there isn't anything 'wrong' with the way I am, but it doesn't work for her. It sounds like quotes from the WAW handbook, but perhaps there is something to it. Maybe the way she is wired she really can't tolerate the things that don't bother me. How far can we go to accommodate each other if that's the case? We don't want to throw away our own identities, but we want both of us to be happy, or content, or whatever word fits there.
